what a day
Date: 2/1/2006 10:58:50 PM ( 15 y ) ... viewed 2817 times
blogging a bit later today than usual because my day has been interesting.
yesterday i needed the day off juice so it was water only which worked really well. then at nite i took some herbal lax's - waited waited waited no action. so went to bed read a bit then tried to go to sleep. i started to get really cold headachy and sleepy but not feeling like i could sleep (definate detox). long story short ended up on toilet for a really long time and i am sure it was all old stuff coming out. didnt get to sleep till wee hours of the morn so after kids went to school went back for nap. got up and back on toilet again - not a nice site what was in the bowl. decided to go for a walk (gotta say i was nervous about leaving the toilet)i would call it more of a stroll than a walk - i had very little energy. when i got home had a shower and felt like i had been hit by a bus. laid down for a sec got up and nearly fainted. went out to do some things came home and on toilet again - couldnt bring myself to look. so i think i am finally at the real cleansing stage. i am glad it is out and i am sure there is more to follow but really it wasn't a nice experience. my tongue even went white again. jumped on scales just for curiosity and i am 4 pounds lighter. so there you have it my poo story! just for dazzle! ha!
i have had two juices today mainly because i was worried about the light headed feeling adn thought the sugar from fruit juice would help. i will see how i feel tommorrow regarding juices i might try a bit more of the mc lemonade. still enjoying herbal tea, but off the veggie broth. actually havent had any of that for about a week. i really think your body sends you messages as to what you do and dont need- its just a matter of taking the time to listen. and this juice fast really does give you that time. the other thing i really like about the fast is i dont have to make any decisions about what i will or wont eat or drink. i know that i cant have any of it so it takes the pressure off making those decisions. this is what i am going to have to do when i finish the fast and i am preparing myself for that but right now its just a bit of a break from it all.
now the other thing that happened today was not at all good and i am still in dismay. i had a huge argument with my 14 yr old. he is at the stage where his friends are everything and mum and dad are always wrong and have no idea. he wants more freedom and hates been told what to do. i asked him to empty the dishwasher and oh my god was it on. he decided to throw the plates and glasses in the cupboard. i mentioned if he broke anything he would have to pay for them out of his own money. he shouted out some nasty things to me and continued to throw dishes. for some reason when he got to throwing utensils i lost it. and big time. im not proud of the fact that i physically pushed him. he had lost control and then so did i- not a great mix and one i generally manage to avoid. i have gone over and over my actions and i feel ashamed embarassed adn also really angry that i lost contol. i know it was unacceptable and will make sure i never do it again. i have shown him one of two things i) mum is human and has a breaking point ii) when all else fails use violence...obviously hoping for the first one! but what can i say he is 14 adn i am human. i am sure those of you who have been there will understand how it feels. which is pretty dam shitty. but i am trying not to beat myself up about it adn learn from it. although right now i would be happy if he didnt come out of his room.... until..... say......he is..... 21.....which is fine because he is grounded until then anyway!
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