Feb 16 - feeling good
hopefully continued weightloss
Date: 2/16/2006 2:27:15 PM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 1921 times
OK, had a good day so far. Last night was Colonic number two. Talk about an uncomfortable experience. I know I'm making progress. My therapist told me I shat out about 4 person's worth of stuff. He was genuinely surprised, and said he could see a real difference in my abdomen.
Goodness, though. It's worth it to feel great afterwards, but it's a real struggle for me during. He said my some of my stool was hard, which is why it's so uncomfortable to pass. I'm trying to drink lots of water. But I have a feeling that's not the problem.
The problem is my tendency to do really well for a few days (minutes, or hours) and then to feel entitled to eat. And when I "EAT" it's usually something totally carb heavy - my weakness is plain old pasta, and all the italian derivatives - lasagne, pizza, whatever.
After the colonic last night, I got home about 11:15 PM and my fiance was already asleep. After some celery and peanut butter, and some yogurt, I went to bed. First listening to my weight loss "get and keep your ideal body" tape. I don't know how that thing is working. First of all, I got it at the co-op, so it's not some wacko tape.
Last week I was really feeling that inner thin person trying to get out. Needless to say, this week I have not had that feeling. I haven't really been able to visualize. Maybe it was going to nyc and picking up the dress - I tried it on and it's fine, it looks fine, but I DON'T LOOK FINE. Finding a dress that can fit you at any size is a total plus, and it's a beautiful dress.
I've never lost weight. Ever. I guess it will all come together on my March 2 weigh in - I'll see if what I've been doing has had any impact at all or not. That does give me motivation to stay strong till then, doing things a month at a time.
It seems like I've got lunch down to a science. I'm not really eating breakfast every day, which i know needs to change. If I can make March the month of having a good breakfast that would be good. Actually, March being my birthday month, I'd like to do a little more. Maybe March is the month of getting up at 6, doing yoga, having a good breakfast. Then juicing for dinner. Maybe shifting my calorie intake around during the day will help. Dinner time is hard.
I love my fiance dearly. We are both total sensualists, which drew us together. But finding comfort in food and wine and sex is great, esp. the sex part! But indulging in food and wine each night is bad for me. He's much better at portion control than I am. He doesn't really cook anymore, which is my doing, as I'm not eating what he cooks at night anymore. I can't. I'm a pure and simple glutton.
Trying to recognize fullness and not eat past that point has been a huge focus of the last few weeks for me, and has gone pretty well. But when my emotions overwhelm, I just want to run straight for cheesecake, or pizza, or whatever crap I can get my hands on.
Well, with March as yoga and juice month, that's a good goal, I think. I'm exercising with weights and treadmill and bike already, but the more activity I add the better.
Maybe I can do a month-by-month build on that, and have April be the month I start taking a walk at lunch, on top of the yoga and gym. Damn. Maybe at some point I'll realize that the calories are not worth it.
Only 1.5 hours left at work, and all my work is done for the most part. It's a great holiday weekend and I can't wait to get it started. I'm also entertaining doing some more fasting.
I only lasted around 8 days last time. It was kind of daunting that I wanted to do a month and only lasted 8 days. But I'd like to do 2/22 - 3/1 fasting. I can tone down the workouts slightly, so they're not pushing so hard, and see how it goes. One thing is for sure, thinking about fasting for a week at a time is a lot better than a month.
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