Blog: Transformations With Chef Jemichel
by Chef JeM

Transformational Communication for Self and Other

How dialogue relates to transformation.

Date:   2/8/2016 2:27:09 AM   ( 7 y ) ... viewed 1688 times

May 18, 2023 -

“With tenderness and openness, conditioning can unmanifest - leaving what naturally remains, as stillness, presence and love.”[17]*

November 20, 2022 - Communication is Transmission -

Social conditioning not only has sculpted our behavior it has more essentially deeply wired our fundamental language. Consequently we have a predisposed notion about what communication is. De-conditioning ourselves from such could very well require a 72-hour "Enlightenment Intensive"![16]

The initial interview -

“Twenty is the minimum age for taking an Enlightenment Intensive. Before a person reaches twenty her main focus is on fitting into a social group. She is not her own person yet, and consequently on an Intensive she will try to do what she thinks is expected of her by the master and the group and have what she understands to be the expected experience. Between nineteen
and twenty a change comes about where a person’s emphasis shifts to the self – what she can do, accomplish, etc. This is the beginning of maturity and the time when one is ready for an Intensive. Before that age enlightenment is unlikely.”
An intensive of this nature could possibly reconstruct our understanding of what authentic communication actually consists of.

This blog-writer suggests that communication is actually a transmission - one that may probably be better stated as a living transmission or, better yet, a life-giving/life-enhancing transmission. If we all knew from the start of any relationship that our interactions with other/s would result in a greater good for ourselves and all concerned then would we still carry a reservoir of defensiveness, from which to deflect the "slings and arrows" that we expect and/or believe may come from others? .......

Thinking in terms of "transmission" rather than "communication" can free our minds from the tremendous limitations of communication as it is known now. For instance - a transmission can be other than words spoken or written. Wordless transmissions do occur between people. Consciously recognizing them is optional.

Mechanically - a transmission shifts gears. In "standard transmissions" (are these available any more in cars?) knowledge and understanding of the operation of such is required and when applied the shifts can occur in mechanically sound ways. Without this knowledge - smooth shifting may not occur!

In Human Design the Throat Center can function as a clearing house and allow for shifts to higher consciousness. This is the center that can support transmission. It requires our awareness. We need to develop the ability to hear ourselves and to sense the impact of our transmissions on others. The greater our ability and application the greater our growth and evolution. Then our true authority will follow! This makes it easier to "be impeccable" with our word and live with "The First Agreement."

December 26, 2019 -

"... It is not enough to multiply encounters, information, knowledge, or adventures, even if, in the moment, it gives us the feeling of living fully. It is not ‘in the moment’ that counts; it is the assessment we make of our life years later. That is why it is useful to review our choices and activities from time to time, and ask ourselves, ‘What does all this really bring me?’"[15]


Re: "review our choices and activities" - This is all the more especially true for those of us who have a defined sacral center in their Human Design with regards to their "activities."

December 7, 2019 -

"The gift of vulnerable love far transcends the mental sharing of spiritual concepts and stories, no matter how profound they are. The head normally can't wait to advise. The heart, when listening to the inner world of another, listens, listens more, asks questions that draw a person out further, and thus shows a loving interest in the inner world of the other. Such a heart actually has the ability to get into the inner world of another because the heart feels and experiences no separation. When listening perfectly to the being of another, our being has the capacity to commune, to be at-one-with that other. The reunion of beings beyond the normal separate space of ego consciousness is a very beautiful thing when it happens.

The heart measures and represents our capacity for love. That capacity grows automatically as we learn to communicate and listen from deeper levels of being. The more we communicate and share the less separate we feel. The effort to recognize and speak the truth is the greatest work that any of us can do".[13]


Can a doctor’s "instinctual intelligence" not only be used for the purpose of important diagnostic data but also to minimize the potential shock upon delivering the final diagnosis to the patient?[14] ......... Have any studies been done of doctors who include "medical intuition" in regards to the impact of their diagnosis upon their patients? .........

In any case how a doctor communicates with their patients and whether they spend a sufficient amount of time listening to their patients has been the subject of some studies and therefor the questions of the impact of an intuitively-enhanced diagnosis could serve as a possible starting point for new studies.

October 2, 2019 -

“There is nothing more important than the way we communicate with each other.”[10]

Comment -

The axiom: "Communication is Life"[13] (that this blog-writer has adopted and advocated since the mid-80s) is all the more validated with the above quote.

Re: "The way we communicate with each other” points to the meta-communication aspect that is part of every communication. The second (of five basic) axiom of communication says:
"Every communication has a content and relationship aspect such that the latter classifies the former and is therefore a metacommunication: All communication includes, apart from the plain meaning of words, more information."[11]

The importance of the "relationship aspect" of every communication deserves our shared awareness, understanding and much mindfulness. Knowing your Human Design (HD) and that of others can support your consciousness is this regards.

Another factor in "the way we communicate with each other” includes our own energetic state - whether it's in either a natural healthy state or in an unnatural & unhealthy state. The awareness of that can be supported with Human Design.

"The key to life is relating."[12]

July 9, 2019 - The Most Simple and Genuinely Pure Dialogue Can Be The Most Transformational!

This acronym formed after spontaneously voicing the phrase: "Genuinely Open Dialogue": GOD!

In the process of digesting the comments (for: "What's Really Going On?"[9]) comes a realization that efforts made toward a most suitable formation, grouping, community-building, etc. of truly American people needs to include open dialogue among all the participants. An axiom has been formed that says that dialogue is the new community and that without dialogue the door to pathology is left open. Dialogue has also been presented as the quintessential need for individuals who suffer from the previously mentioned "pathology." It is apparent to this writer that truth without love risks abuse. Also the component of creativity is needed in the whole synergy and that is possibly the way whereby the value of "diversity" can be expressed and thereby known!

July 20, 2019 - Continuing With the "G.o.d."s -

G.o.d.s (Genuinely Open Dialogues) are most highly supported by pure observations. With pure observation in a genuinely open dialogue there is no argument (and there is not necessarily an agreement as well)!

If one observes the appearance of incongruence with what another presents they can simply inquire about that. (This is another reason why one's deepest values need to be articulated in virtually all interpersonal relationships. This kind of intimate communication is what can increase our affinity and shared reality with one another.)

Therefor when the "4th Agreement" is adopted one may need to add a "footnote" to the "2nd Agreement" and be open to considering whether one's best can be made even better. You can find your value in the feedback loop even while knowing that what others say is all about them!

February 8, 2016 -

Thoughts on a conversation today with an intelligent gentleman who happens to be my housemate and a budding new friend as well.[1] The conversation included mention of a couple systems that my budding friend has seen used by communities that have successfully addressed emotionally-charged needs. After listening to his summary on the ZEGG Forum[2] I saw that the most essential thing that this and other techniques support is dialogue.

I see dialogue engaging individuals in multi-directional ways. We can have inner dialogue with our selves as well as inter-dialogue with others. I've posted "Interpersonal Communication in the Spirit of Dialogue" at "Son of Truth of Self"[3]

Earlier I had conversation with another housemate who expressed frustration over not having the kind of communication in the house that is sufficiently effective. The idea of establishing a communication system was mentioned. I "dialogued" some about the idea and added that a system can only work if people are willing to communicate. Unfortunately we have a couple people who have considerable resistance to communicating with one another. And now (having reflected more on this subject matter) I'd add that "a system can only work if people are willing to dialogue with one another!

Dialogue relates to transformation in a number of ways. In fact, I can most readily identify at least twenty-three "Gifts" in the Gene Keys that I think people could recognize as directly pertinent to dialogue.[4]

The release of the Gene Key Gifts is a transformational process resulting from embracing the shadow/fears that exist at the lower frequencies of each and every Gene Key. It is the release of these Gifts that support genuine dialogue, a dialogue with others that requires an inner dialogue. The world is waiting for the release of our hidden gifts that in turn will allow us to connect more deeply with others!

February 11, 2016 -

Dialogue is the new community and therefor it is the new foundation for a healthy social life and for new societies.[5] The use of Dyads can be a most effective communication support system for developing one's ability to dialogue. However, people are not trained in how to dialogue with one another. People need to learn ways to transform their "communication".

The approach for transforming communication that follows here is based on the use of dyads.[6]

Dyads are most effective in a one-to-one private session. The transformation of one's communication via dyads is one approach that most anyone can learn once they know how the dyad works.

If I work with a client then I'll have the individual list all the people they have or had relationships with starting with their family of origin. Then we do Dyads for each family member starting with the "mother and father". An example of the basic Dyad is: "Tell me an incomplete communication that you have with your mother." Then we redirect the individual's response for a new communication that is focused directly on the individual's mother - just as if she were present with us. We repeat that Dyad until all of the incomplete communications are completed. Then we continue the Dyads regarding the father followed by all the other family members. Once all of these Dyads are completed the individual can have a Dyad (if they wish) with the actual family members whom they had previously focused on in the Dyads. The previous Dyads prepared the way for direct communication/dialogue with the actual family members.

"While they are on this earth, human beings are not capable of living with principles alone; they need the support of forms."[7] Dyads are one type of form that I find highly supportive of the principals as well as the High Ideals that one may hold.

June 16, 2019 - Continuing with "High Ideals" -

"... To realize ideals and change the world, imagination and technique is needed. ...
Our creative and imaginative capacity depends on how free we are as individuals. The biases we receive from our family, nation, ethnic group and religion and all that we inherit from the past (can) restrict our creativity. Imagination is a characteristic of free individuality. Free individuality is attained through an inner striving for freedom."[8]


"Transformational Communication for Self and Other" is a certain kind of partnership whereby you develop your own "imaginative capacity ... through an inner striving for (your) freedom" and then have that supported by certain dyad communication techniques focused toward your truth of self.

May 16, 2016 -



I think for some people that would be better stated as "Connect With Your Authentic Self"!

The 4th item in this TABLE OF CONTENTS is:


Tonight a few of us in our house hold began an interviewing process for a potential new housemate and a goodly amount of that conversation included our nature-rich land and the interests here to "enjoy" nature here! For a number of us - along with the enjoying part there is the land management part!

This is the one that I want to read first as it is of greatest interest to me (being a Libra plus King and 6 of Hearts kind of guy!

December 6, 2016 -

Do you know that the first function of the mind is communication? (See "A Course In Miracles") Why is that? It's because communication is life! This axiom on the quintessential purpose for our mind is "hard wired" into our body through the totality of our spirit-psyche-brain-organ-body matrix and includes every cell, every system from every possible perspective. In contrast - it is in the breakdown of "Communication is Life" that every conceivable "ill" is able to enter the human experience. The truth of this starts with every individual in their first relationship with their own self.
This is why "self talk" (by whatever "name" or terminology we use for this primal mode of communication) is referred to in the bible as well as in courses for healing, recovery, personal growth, etc.

However - there is a wide spectrum of different kinds of "activities" that one may think is "communication" and this is where a deeper understanding of communication is required if we are to be effective in our communications with self and others. I regard dialogue as one of the highest forms of communication and hold that it can be referred to as a model of what communication is. If you know someone who is able to dialogue then I would encourage you to have communication with this individual to gain practical experience in the "art" of dialogue. I've also previously mentioned that Dyads can support the dialogue process. By mastering dyad communication you'll be well on your way to mastering "the highest form of communication"! Dialogue as a form of self-talk would then give you "the highest form of communication" with yourself! That, my friend, is the best foundation that I know of for personal transformation! Self-dialogue will transform you by "renewing" your mind because it will recover the original and primary purpose of your mind!


[1] One of the thresholds I have in the evolution of a relationship from acquaintance to "companion" to friend is a demonstration of trustworthiness and this man is proving his trustworthiness to me!



[4] Gifts such as the 4th Gene Key: Understanding, 5th Gene Key: Patience, 6th Gene Key: Diplomacy, 19th Gene Key: Sensitivity, 22nd Gene Key: Grace, 23rd Gene Key: Simplicity, 25th Gene Key: Acceptance, 27th Gene Key: Altruism, 30th Gene Key: Lightness, 31st Gene Key:
Leadership plus probably at least fourteen more!

[5] See the following:
That includes links to:

Dialogue: Rediscovering the Transforming Power of Conversation by Linda Ellinor and Glenna Gerard (J. Wiley and Sons, 1998).
DIALOGUE: A Proposal By David Bohm, Donald Factor, and Peter Garrett - the pamphlet that started the dialogue movement
The Joy of Conversation by Jaida N'ha Sandra (Utne, 1997). The Utne Reader-sponsored guide to co-creative salons of all types.


A master list of dialogue articles, books and websites


National Coalition for Dialogue and Deliberation

see also:

Exploring transactional and transformational conversations.

"Choosing Seeds For Dialogue - Dennis Klocek, on the subject of consciousness in health ...":

"Interpersonal Communication in the Spirit of Dialogue +":

"Reiki Plus Communication Dyads":

"Dialogue - 'The new community'! Without dialogue there is no genuine community.":

"Up The Creek? Here's An OAR! - More understanding regarding the ways of true communication.":

"On Dialogue" by David Bohm:

[6] See: "The 'Dyad Ways' to Your Enlightenment of Who & What You Are!:




[10] From a BG5 webinar slide presentation regarding “Understanding the Power of Communication” - the first in a five webinar series: "Finding Your Voice In Communication and Action."



[13] See the post on this page at: "December 6, 2016."
Also see: "Continuing with 'Communication Is Life'!" on April 29, 2019 at: "Be Good Medicine!":

[13] In "Becoming Vulnerable to Yourself" Exercise # 1 By Dr. Mark Sircus.

[14] This question was inspired by a section intended for physicians in:
"Increasing Intuitional Intelligence: How the Awareness of Instinctual Gut Feelings Fosters Human Learning, Intuition, and Longevity" (October 10, 2015) By: Martha Char Love, Robert W. Sterling.


[16] The initial interview -

“Twenty is the minimum age for taking an Enlightenment Intensive. Before a person reaches twenty her main focus is on fitting into a social group. She is not her own person yet, and consequently on an Intensive she will try to do what she thinks is expected of her by the master and the group and have what she understands to be the expected experience. Between nineteen and twenty a change comes about where a person’s emphasis shifts to the self – what she can do, accomplish, etc. This is the beginning of maturity and the time when one is ready for an Intensive. Before that age enlightenment is unlikely.”:
Comment: The age "between nineteen and twenty" is midway between the ages of 18 and 21 and the later two relate to two developmental cycles that are represented by two "9-year" cycles and three "7-year" cycles respectively. And in Common Law the age of majority is 21. In light of this - having age twenty as the minimum age is possibly generally acceptable however (IMO) the "initial interview" needs to be thorough.



dialogue, transformation, embracing the shadow, fears, dyads, communication, psyche, mind, self talk, Transformational, Genuinely Open Dialogue, community-building, American people, dialogue is the new community, truth without love risks abuse, value of diversity, metacommunication, awareness, understanding, mindfulness


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