Blog: Delusional Doctor
by Delusional Doctor

The Background

The Beginning

Date:   6/10/2015 5:00:46 PM   ( 4 y ) ... viewed 328 times

"So," perhaps you are wondering, "how did this all start?" Well, I'm not sure. I have a few theories...#1. My not-so-lovely apartment in New Jersey had dirt - yes, particulate matter - in the water. Took shower & brushed teeth daily. Soap, shampoo, toothpaste, mouthwash, water, and water-born blech. "Clean" is relative, isn't it. #2. My dog - she used to sleep with me, and used to ride in the car on my shoulder. Though I never fed her tap water, and I religiously gave her a monthly heart worm pill, used parasite drops and flea collar, she walks low to the ground. Took her to the vet asking about tiny white granules throughout her hair, and after I combed a worm out of her chest hair fur about 4cm long. Also wiped 3-4 off of her chin. Vets were nonplussed, told me she had dandruff, and wrote me off as neurotic. #3. Trauma. One of my nieces' & nephews' cousins had lice during December 2014. So, the family-wide lice check happened. Overly-enthusiastic, I accidentally perforated my scalp with the sharp cheap OTC lice comb and ended up with no lice but rather a secondary smoldering scalp cellulitis that resolved with Bactrim. That perforation could have delivered a facultative parasite. #4. Back to my apartment: You could see light and feel quite a draft through the kitchen back door frame. Didn't seal. Was infested with what we think are fungus gnats. Fungus gnats can function as facultative parasites and, interestingly, the gnats can reproduce as larvae endlessly, bypassing the adult gnat stage. I think I read that it's the only fly maggot that can do that. Lovely. So, it's probably some combination of above. But none of my fellow physicians have taken the time to hear/read the story or shown an interest. They, incredibly LAZY, diagnose me with "delusional parasitosis."

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Comments (4 of 4):
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