The last night of giving up, tomorrow morning I begin to try
I have cancer from smoking. I'm 42 years old I smoked for twenty years.And tomorrow I am going to try to lay down my addictions give them up to God you who may happen to be reading this as my witness. Tomorrow I will start a 40 day water cleanse to try to rid my body of its cancer.
Date: 3/31/2015 5:16:21 PM ( 8 y ) ... viewed 1366 times
I have cancer from smoking. I'm 42 years old I smoked for twenty years. I don't know how it happened. I was a health nut in my mind and at heart. I ran extensively ate vegetarian for fifteen years. But I have an addiction that took over my life and I kept it a secret from everyone because I was so ashamed I was doing it. I wanted to stop and I thought everyday for 12 years this was the day I would finally stop. Now I am very sick and my secret has come very closing to killing me. It hadn't yet but I am in deaths door. I do not believe in traditional medicine. I am alone scared and afraid for everyday that I cannot claim my life back or my health. And I still smoke in silence. Nobody knows. Now you know you who read this and your the only ones. I was browsing the bible last night it told me that to be forgiven for your sins they must be confessed. It can't be a forced confession by another outside if you it must come from within you by the free choice of your own will. Today I am making my confessions. And tomorrow I am going to try to lay down my addictions give them up to God you who may happen to be reading this as my witness. Tomorrow I will start a 40 day water cleanse to try to rid my body of its cancer. Tomorrow never came so far I was going to do this tomorrow for well over 12 years. Today tomorrow will have to come and I am hoping making my plight public by this blog online I can be held accountable just enough to make that happen. The morning is going to be the hardest part. My illness has left me wishing for death to stop the pain, and I have got to find the strength to try to wish for life and living it correctly to stop my pain. The mornings are the hardest part, not waking up feeling already defeated.
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