Blog: Healing Journey - Water fast (4th attempt)
by caa522

Post fast - Day 1

Ending the fast

Date:   5/9/2014 12:12:28 PM   ( 8 y ) ... viewed 838 times


Weigh in this morning at 133.8 lbs 31.0% BF So no significant change in weight as the previous days of about 2 pounds a day but the body fat percentage has decreased. I also notice definitely in the appearance of my face as it is more defined. I am feeling so good now that I almost don't want to stop. I feel lighter, no inflammation, increased flexibility/mobility most obviously in my neck where I have had issues of decreased range of motion and pain at end of range. I love love not feeling bloated. Although I am typically a healthy eater, I have a hard time staying away from salty foods. Perhaps it is hormonal imbalance or inadequate water intake. I get so busy with 4 kids that it is easy to forget to drink water. I think monitoring my water and salt intake is really important. Perhaps these are strong triggers for my inflammation and auto-immune issues.
Additionally I have noticed from water fasts that some scar tissues have minimized. I have a few mild keloid scars from surgery. I don't know why in some places I don't get keloid scarring and others heal very well. This one in particular is from a drainage tube about 2 years ago. There was a noticeable bump which looked like one those big red cystic pimples you might get on your face. I noticed the most change in it since I started doing the water fasts. The bump is gone and just a slight pinkish coloration remains. Also, The skin on on my face is usually clear I believe because of clean eating with some tiny tiny bumps around the mouth area. They are really visually not detectable unless you feel for it. If you squeeze it some sebum or hard seed like thing comes out. Usually the bumps don't go away on its own unless I extract it. Or at least they remain for a long time. There's usually a couple of reasons why I break out. Hormones, eating too much carb, and detoxing. I still felt the small bumps around my mouth/chin area around day 2 but this morning most have disappeared. My joints feel lubricated and mobile without pain. And I feel more elated. I am certainly not as bitch as day 1 and 2. Goodness I was cranky and soooo irritable. I'm sure my happiness is a combination of getting past Day3-4, no detox symptoms, lighter, clearer in thinking, more energy, and perhaps knowing it's the end for this round of fasting.

One thing to note, each fast has definitely gotten better for me. A different experience for each one. The first was so awful. Just horrible. The second was only slightly better. The third wasn't so bad but the insomnia near drove me nuts. It wasn't the kind that you felt so good and had all this energy that you didn't need to sleep. It was the I'm so tired but I couldn't sleep. Mind seem to be too active. This fourth time I got so much better sleep. I think I am less toxic so the need for cleansing and healing is not as much as the first time.

Now I am thinking of refeeding. I know most people suggest breaking the fast with fruits but I am not comfortable with introducing sugars into my system. For one thing, it's like crack for me. I'm not diabetic or even close but I know I am sensitive to insulin spikes. I have looked into other water fasters who also into paleo diets. Again I am not a big meat eater. BUt I am cautious about rebounding from this fast. I think from previous post fast refeeding sugars/carbs triggered something that lead to snowballing into old eating patters. And a real real big one reason for avoiding fruits is that I just finished a round of antibiotics. Now, I am not a big proponent of antibiotics. I use natural stuff like colloidal silver and tea tree oil. That stuff is incredibly effective. But I had a surgical revision for a second time and skin sutures weren't healing properly and needed to take antibiotics. I am worried about my gut and candida especially. I need to rehab my gut and I know any kind of sugar will wreak havoc. So, I am going to try a different strategy. I will do flax milk/ almond milk with food grade diatomaceous earth. Sipping on that every hour or Veggie broths. Will move to veggie juicing keeping low on carrots which I usually do a lot of. I heard about the benefits of bone broth. I would do it if I was more prepared. Maybe I will go find some soup bones to make a broth. I know preparation is key. I need to have these things ready otherwise I will succumb more easily to temptations especially since I have to cook for my family. The urge to taste the food you cook is a natural thing. But from previous experience, these one or two bites have ended up throwing my refeeding plan out the window. I haven't done refeeding properly. I usually last less than 2 days following the plan and this time I want to do it right.

I have to say this fast was the most prayerful I have been asking God to heal my body and my relationship with food. I understand the benefits of fasting and healing but it has shed more light in my eating habits. Although I eat well for the most part it is obvious I still have some emotional eating issues. They are mild but most have been unconscious and fasting has helped me bring this to the surface. Last night I had an emotional experience. I really thought about my childhood and teen years. I grew up with my father being pretty absent in my life. I lived with my mother but she was very toxic. I felt so much rejection and feeling unworthy and insignificant. eating and watching TV was such a comfort with dealing with the feelings of loneliness. The thing is that I eat so well all day and when I put the kids to sleep I get my me time. I clean up and then relax in front of the TV with my husband and munch away. Meals with the kids are so rushed and dedicated to them. I can't seem to enjoy a meal without constant interruption or kids wanting my food.

Well,enough banter. I feel I am going negative. I want to focus on feeling connected to being good to my body. Being more aware of what and how I eat without letting things get out of hand. Wow I just started feeling sleepy and tired but gotta go make lunch for my kids and drop that off at their school.

11:45 am
I just wanted to add a couple of things before I forget. I want to say I feel different at the end of this fast. Previous water fast and numerous master cleanse, I almost seem fixated with what I am gonna want to eat when I am done. I feel a good deal of resistance to fasting because I feel deprived. It's obviously emotional and psychological. Knowing from previous mistakes, I turned my focus on being more present and mindful and trying to let go of my resistance. I remind myself I want to do this. I am not deprived, if anything I am more full in most respect. I also prepped myself about post fast and refeeding. I have learned from the past what pitfalls there are what my triggers are. So, if anyone feels frustrated from having to do so many fasts and not quite completing there goal, I say take it easy on yourself. It's a learning process. My goal was to hit 5-10 days. i made it to 4. It's just a number really. But looking at the big picture, I have learned so much with each fast. I am referring to that beyond the physical since fasting is truly a huge mental/psychological/emotional thing.

Towards day 3-4 I started having fears arising. Fear of failing after the fast and losing all that for nothing. I've kicked myself many times for rebounding. Not a whole lot of good that does but make myself feel like crap. The whole spiritual aspect of fasting is just enormous. I surrendered to God what I believe I cannot control. I asked for help to reveal to me what my deeper issues are about my illness, my body, and food. I really believe the physical or external is a manifestation of what is going on internally. I prayed that I want to feel comfortable with my body and health, letting go of fears, and less invested in finding contentment with the externals and instead more with the internals. Okay if I might sound redundant from previous posts, I apologize. having to juggle my life with four kids (littlest one is 4), my memory is just not as refined as I would like it to be.

I have been taking sips (about 2Tablespons) of Flax or Almond milk every 30-60 minutes. I need to still make my vegetable soup. I plan on making bone broth tomorrow.

Interesting is that whole family is going out to see a movie. Normally that is munching time on sugar and salty stuff. Now, everyone else will be doing that. I need to have some plan. Visually prepare myself being strong and having my flax/almond milk to sip on. I find the habit of snacking, the sights, sounds, and smell trigger psychological/emotional stuff. The one thing about being on ketosis at least there isn't that strong hunger urge. I have movie night Friday and Mexican dinner at the harbor with my hubby and co-workers Saturday. And last, but not least, Sunday Mother's day feast and I'm baking the dessert. I don't want to set myself up with excuses to crack under these temptations. I just have to have a plan and focus on the feel good rather than be fearful of consequences of failing or giving in. I have to keep focusing that I am not deprived but I make the choice to continue to do the most loving and kind act for myself. I will be able to have a go at a variety of delicious foods, just not quite yet though. Sorry, more ramblings.

I need to get productive and have to set my phone on a timer for drinking water and sipping flax/almond milk. It's easy to lose track of that when busy. I know that can set up triggers and lead me to throwing in the towel if I don't stay mindful. Lesson learned from previous fasts.

Have a fabulous weekend everyone.

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