Detox symptoms and a prayer vision
January is being difficult, but it's clear from encouragement in prayer, that I shouldn't waver left or right. I had a vision while praying, about God's light breaking into this world.
Date: 1/17/2013 10:56:59 PM ( 12 y ) ... viewed 19267 times I have been getting dull hands in the middle of the night- any time my bloodsugar runs a bit higher than normal, thefeeling in my fingers goes rather down. This concerns me a lot- and I started to think I should stop supplementing, anddoubted that the process I'm using is wrong. I bolused insulin, turned the light off and lay down again. uÍt was about five in the morning at that hour.
i feel most comforted when I am in prayer and looking for my father's embrace in the Spirit. The holy spirit- I've had a longing to go a good bit deeper than headkowledge in the life of a christian, and it's coming, bit by bit.
I was only getting muddled thoughts, sleepiness and my own mudge and bludge of doubt and small grumpinesses (aka, not very clear prayer time, and being distracted with things as i muddled on them)- and I felt a clearer, more insistent little call.. 'go downstairs!'
... Muh? That was actually my responce, right off the bat. I pushed out of the covers after a moment of '... what, right now?' in my mind, and then went downstairs to the colder livingroom to wrap up in a fleece and slump with my head against the armrest in the darkness. It became much easier to set my mind on communicating - on listening with my heart for the holy Spirit.
My first picture- was opening a very large gate- turning the key in the lock of a large walled garden, and calling for Jesus- to meet him there in the garden of my heart, and simply to seek Him for a while- His hand came almost immediately, and I reached out, and the next image in my heart was being in amidst a flowerbed of roses, on soft grass, and being close to him.. Hugging, worshipping, crying softly in my heart and smiling at the same time. To me he is often the lion of judah- Aslan as C.S. Lewis described him in those books I loved when I was little, a lion with the softest, most deep and understanding eyes, a mane you could bury for face into in forever.
The next place i was.. I often feel- I feel in my heart that I'm called, 'my daughter'- the Father and the Son are one, and the next place I was in my heart- while seeking prayer and nearness, was on the Father's lap, and being comforted. He's majestic, he is spledour and power, might and righteousness- he's every opposite of the world that I've ever longed for!
Much of the time I spend near to Him in my heart is communicating- words of comfort and closeness, sometimes images in a sort of slow talk, responding to eachother, and my heart knows that he is that much bigger and more right... My hope is that there are plenty of you that get what I'm writing, and understand. <3
At a point in beig hungry for love in His lap, the images of us talking softened- rather, my attention was elsewhere- he showed me- directed my attention, to listen to what was going on around his throne.
There was a song being sung- the same one I asked for yesterday to sing with my bible study yesterday during flipping around in our little psalms book.
"Holy...
Holy...
You are Holy...
Ohh Lord-
Worthy...
You are Worthy..
You are Worthy..
Ohh Lord...
Mighty...
You are Mighty..
You are Mighty...
Ohh Lord.."
My heart was in it- I could hear people crying out in joy in the reverence of the song, as if being struck with happiness, and it was a sing from a few, then hundred, then thousands- a great mass of people, singing perfectly.
It changed as the people finished the psalm, and were quiet and at opeace, that sort that vibrates and has an air of expectation- not the sort we have here on Earth, but the perfect sort where the expectations of the heart really do break out into reality- they happen!
Drums started to play, powerful drums, on either side of the worship hall, lining either side of the floor to the east and west of God's throne, and it was like listening to the music that was played for the Olympics in London last year- but this was worship!
The drums were joy-! People started a dance aroud the throne- not a slow or simple dance, but a complicated one, of leaping, doing flips and handsprings, quick and wild, and there were percussion sticks being struck for the sharp, rhythmic sounds of wood against wood, and the people in the throne room were having a wild dance. They loved it, they were worshipping with dance, and the people in a dancing circle around the foot of His throne didn't fall out of step or out of syncronicity with eachother.
And at the height of the dance, He stood up! God stood up! He lifted His hands, and all of his people around the throne room lifted their hands, and then He clapped! It was like thunder, and there was great joy in the throne room, and the thunder was joy- it ripped like the crack of an earthquake through the strata of a continental plate, or lightning, right from the throne, down through the darkness of space, right to touch the earth.
As the cracking touched the dark, sleeping, spinning earth, parts of the darkness started flaking off, like eggshells, just a little here and there, and light shone through. The daylight color of the sea and land could be seen- the pieces, the places where it shone through radiated light like you can see when looking at rays from the sun when it's peeking between clouds during the summer.
Then small dots of bright light began to rise from the surface of the planet, just hovering above the highest atmosphere, something like at just high enough to still be in close orbit. They shone very clearly, and they were all about the earth, shining against the darkness that still covered the earth. There were lots, because the earth was very big.
I wondered in my heart if it was the Rapture, and if I should see them rise up to the third heaven, but it wasn't- they stayed, shining, and it was God's light they were shining with.
---
I had to write that down!
It's 5:52 right now, and I'm feeling a little better after having woken with a slight blood-sugar high. (I had taken some insulin, of course).
May God bless you thoroughly!
"
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