Blog: Water Logged
by arielrobyn

Day 1: I don't even like Tuna.

Day on of my master cleanse, cravings I couldn't believe.

Date:   8/4/2010 12:24:22 AM   ( 12 y ) ... viewed 1681 times

Day 1 of my master cleanse. I've woken up at my normal 7:10 a.m. gotten ready for work, and at 7:45 I'm heading out the door. Of course, being this early in the morning and seeing as how I am strictly a night owl, I've completely forgotten that I am supposed to start cleansing today so head to work without any "food". Fortunately, my sister has no work today, so around 8:45 she stops by the office to drop me off two large mason jars of "lemonade". I'm so hungry I jump out of my meeting, grab a jar and run back into the conference room, downing the contents.

I have completely forgotten how gross it is.

Wincing at the bitter spicy taste of my "food" I quickly recap the jar and try desperately to drown out the taste with my smart water.

Meeting over, I'm fueled and ready for a day of working. I sit down at my desk, log on to my computer and start opening my email when I am hit by a craving so hard I start salivating and can't think of anything else. The object of my cravings? A tuna fish sandwich on rye. In this moment I have never wanted anything more. It's 9:32 a.m. and I am just about ready to kill for a good tuna sandwich.

Excited and giddy with my discovery, I run into my boss's office, declaring my need for the creamy fishy goodness, NOW.

My Boss, also being my father, stares at me a good long moment in silence as I stare back at him, eyes bright with excitement at the thought of getting a sandwich. "You don't like tuna. And since when did you start wanting rye bread?" I am stunned at his words. Of course they are right. I don't like tuna, especially canned tuna, and even the thought of me wanting it is ludicrous.

Confused, I wander back to my desk; still daydreaming about the sandwich I wish I could be eating. It's almost difficult to go back to work now that I have this craving, taunting me, serenading me gently, and trying to get me to cave.

I've decided my imagination is too out of control for my own good, and abruptly tune out my thoughts, turning my attention back to my work.

It isn't until a minute to noon when I have another craving. As I had thought before about the tuna sandwich (which now sounds disgusting and smelly) I can't imagine wanting anything more than I want a honey stick now. Just one, a raspberry flavoured stick and I would be the happiest 19-year-old in the world.

This craving is fleeting, lasting only two minutes and I can finally get back to my work.

Work is so much longer when I don't need to take a lunch break to eat, instead sipping at my "food" all day long.

At noon I take along break (a big perk of working for my dad) to go to my first Pilates class. I'm nervous because this is my first time, not to mention this is a private class, but I am excited. I arrive at the studio and smile at my sister who is taking the class with me. We're both curious and excited to see how this will go.

Laura, our trainer, is coincidently our younger sister's best friend's mom, so we're already familiar with her. She is smart and funny and we talk about the cleanse that my mom and I are doing.

After the hour class, I feel like I can conquer the world. I am no longer remotely hungry and I feel good, stretched and thoroughly worked.

I go back to work on a high.

2:12 comes around and though I'm feeling incredible, my high is crashed when I get an overwhelming craving for crab. I was a Vegan for about a year and a vegetarian for a few after that, recently going back to eating meat in January. Previous to my vegan days, I had not been interested in the slightest in seafood. It always disgusted me and my poor Japanese mother had to enjoy all the seafood by herself. Since January though, I couldn't get enough of it. I was constantly buying it at the farmers market and making it as much as I could. So this craving wasn't surprising to me.

Like all the other cravings, it went away within a few moments, and before I knew it, it was 4 p.m. Quitting time.

Skipping out to my car singing the perkiest song I could think of, I got in, hooked up my iPod and started home.

4:12, halfway through my commute home and I am floored again by the most overwhelming craving. Oysters. Now, I don't like oysters, even after eating meat again and enjoying fish, I find them to slimy for me. But right now, I would do anything just to get one.

4:13, what I thought to be an oyster craving is actually a strawberry ice cream craving and I want it badly.

4:17 I have completely forgotten my want for strawberry ice cream. I need to have Cod. RIGHT NOW.

4:21 about a minute from home and it hits me. Of course. I want Cod smothered in strawberry ice cream topped with oysters. It sounds so good I'm tempted to run inside my house and whip some up.

The rest of the day follows a similar trend. Cravings then none.

I drink tons of water and lemonade, my tongue turning white, a gross and apparent sign I am already detoxing.

Desperate for escape from my fuzzy tongue, I brush my teeth, three times, before I go to bed. I’m thoroughly disgusted by it and by 10 p.m. I'm tired, sore and cranky with a throbbing headache.

Time for bed.

I lay down with angsty thoughts. My previous happy mood completely replaced by hunger and exhaustion. My only thoughts as I drift to sleep are of tomorrow and if I wake up with a headache I'm going to be majorly pissed off.

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