Day 4 - June 13, 2010
My daily diary of my water fast
Date: 6/13/2010 4:15:57 PM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 1617 times
Today I feel really sick and nausous. I felt fine this morning. Actually I had alot of energy when I woke up. I did some body brushing after I took my shower. My tounge is coated and I have a nasty taste in my mouth, which only brushing my teeth a couple times a day will get rid of. I have also noticed I can taste my filling in my upper tooth. It taste metallic which is nasty as well.
I don't know if my ketones are high because I have no ketone strips to use to see how high they are. I felt really ill when I was at my friend's old house, which was mildewy and moldy. The smell was just making me ill as well as having the nausea from burning fat too. I gagged a couple times, because it was so bad. My friend was concerned, and I told her it was my stomach, because my stomach has been making a lot stomach acid, which gives me a horrible sour stomach, which makes me ill as well. I would never think about breaking my fast at this point, because eating food would not make me feel any better then I do now.
I have drunk about 48 ounces of water today to counter act the nausea I am having. The first bit of water this morning was lovely and tasted so good!
I weighed myself after the body brushing. I lost another pound, which I know is waste poundage at this point. I know that when I start losing weight, the first to come off is on my fingers, my feet and face.
Unfortunately when I started my fast, I weighed 150 pounds, 40 more pounds that I am used too on my body. It is a result of all the carb eating from the meals that P. cooked. He eats alot of carbs, I never have so my body couldn't break then down as quickly as he could. about 10 or 15 of it is winter weight which from eating Thanksgiving and Christmas food, not getting out enough in the wintertime and not enough exericise during that time either. I ashamed that I am this heavy, but I know that stress from the relationship with trying to do everyting to please him, eating high carb foods and not enough exericise has not helped me at all. I struggled with feeling beautiful around P., when I knew I was gaining weight, which stressed me out even more. I guess he wasn't good for me, no matter I did everything in my power to be the best girlfriend for him and a good influnce on his 13 year old son. Oh well.
My stress level is still very high. P. has made it hard on me, as the relationship is ending and it just breaks my heart. Tells me that he doesn't trust me in so many words, but I have done nothing for him not to. And that really hurts.
My sense of smell is still a problem as I am smelling things that just make me feel ill. Things like dog poo, mildew, moldy (mostly over at my friend's house that I never smelled before) road tar, cigerette smoke. Even my friend cooking a hamburger in a pan turned my stomache as well. I could smell the fat, which was horribe!
I haven't noticed any blemishes on my body which usually a sign of skin detox for me. I usually get them on my back, from experiences in the past. Yuck. I hate them, but I know it is a good thing that all the toxants are getting out of my body. I know those usually hit around day 14. Let's just see if I get that far. Only 10 more days until that date in the fast.
I did a lot of praying last night, as my heart was breaking. And I felt so alone in the situation I am in. I did feel a sense of peace wash over me and I became very relaxed. It was soon after that I feel asleep around 2:30 a.m.
I missed church and Bible study today as well. I haven't went in a couple weeks, as the stress of what I knew was coming - P. moving to Florida without me - just was really hard for me to socialize and go to the one place I know I could easily break down and cry. I don't want to embarass myself around other church goers and my friends in the bible study. So I stopped going for a while.
The next week it will be very hard for me for two reasons: Phil will be leaving in a week plus I will be in full detox by then, so I will have stress on both directions. I wonder how I will handle it.
I feel a little weak today. I had to lay down once because sitting up seemed so hard for some reason. Probably due to the nausea and the stomach acid. I hope that gets better in time.
I guess I am done posting for the day. Now moving toward day 5 with strengh and positivity.
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