Day 2 - June 11, 2010
Summary of my day to day fast
Date: 6/11/2010 2:15:05 PM ( 11 y ) ... viewed 5738 times
I had wanted to do a fast in the last month or so, because I could feel myself becoming toxic with all the bad eating I had done over the Christmas/winter season.
It hasn't helped that P. eating preferences are different then mine. In the 10 months he has lived with me, I have gained weight due to his choice of foods when he cooks dinner. He is a more of a hamburger/beans/pasta type of guy and I have always been fish/chichen/veggies and fruits type of woman. So I would eat what he made, which was delicious, but caused me to gain weight beause it too many carbs for my body to burn. Especially when I had to default on my YMCA membership, due to him not helping with the bills, so I wasn't workiing out as often as I was in the past. Stress, unhealthy eating and unactivity is not good for non weight gain.
June is a very stressful month for me, as P. is going to be moving to Florida with out me. All the praying in the past to get the chance for our relationship to work was all for nothing. He has more or less used me as a spring board to get where he wanted to go. Sigh. It is very hard on my heart, but I keep Jeremiah 29:11 on my lips constantly to give me hope.
It was just about 3 or 4 weeks ago, when I was feeling rather toxic, but didn't have the will power to start a fast, I said that if God wants me to fast, He will give me the strength to do so. And now I find myself in a surprise fast, after several days of praying and just trusting in God with my personal issues at this point.
I need this fast to get back in touch with God after such disasterous fallout with P. You can say he has sucked out all the postive things I have shared and giving him the last 10 months. Now, I have to get back to getting right with God, both mentally and spiritually, as well as revive, refresh and renew my body.
Regarding the bad habits over 10 months, I have cut out drinking soda over two months ago, as well as I have also cut out eating fast food, and unhealthy eating in the last 3 or 4 weeks. Since P. wasn't buying any groceries at all as well as him and his son starting eating out more and more, I started buying more foods that I love to eat like blueberries, blackberries, lettuce and other salad greens. I have also been eating alot of green, red, and yellow bell peppers and cucumbers as they are on sale. So I believe my fast really started off well, especially when I was really expecting to do one so soon.
My last meal was a snack of blueberries on Wednesday, June 9, 2010 around 7 p.m. I was feeling a little hungry, but not wanting to eat something heavy, so I ate some blueberries while I read my book.
Yesterday my stomach rumbled a little bit, but I was mostly thristy, so I drank water. I even passed up my lunch time, doing something like going home and folding my laundry, then eat as I was not hungry. I think I had more nervous energy then hunger. When I was over at my friend's house they made hamburgers for dinner and asked me if I wanted one. I said "No thank you!"
Just the thought of it kind of turned my stomach, as I am so sick of eating "hamburger"! P. would make almost every meal with it: Hamburger mixed wtih mac and cheese and beans, hamburger, beans and potates, hamburger, beans mixed with pasta. Hamburger, hamburger and hamburger. In the last 10 months I have eating more hamburger then I have in the 18 years I have lived on my own, since I stopped making it a staple of my diet when I moved out of my mother's house. Gah!
So my first day was uneventful, as I wasn't really focused on a fast, I was just not hungry so I keep myself busy doing other things, then filling my stressful moments with eating food. I know alot of people in my family are emotionally eaters, and I have in the past done so at times, but I know it isn't the answer to the pain in my heart. God is, and only through Him will I be able to overcome any obstical in my way.
As of today, I have drank about 40 ounces of water, with really no hungry pains, which I am kind of bracing myself for. I know from fasts in the past, the 2nd and 3rd day are the hardest for me. It is kind of the deal or no deal situation with will power when having a sucessful lengthy fast. I don't think I am going to have a problem with that, but what I am kind of bracing myself for is the detox symptoms I will be having, as I feel my body is very detoxic. Oh well, I will overcome them as well. :o)
Here are a couple of my favorite quotes that are encouraging me at the moment.
Everyone has inside them a piece of good news. The good news is you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is! ~ Anne Frank
It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. ~Lena Horne
So celebrate what you've accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed. ~Mia Hamm
On to moving toward day 3 of my fast. I don't know how long I will fast, as this fast is really totally controled by God, as He is helping me achieve this feat, in which I had no will power to do. I will just have to see to it day by day, and just see its outcome.
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