day 3 of water fasting
All negative feelings be them physical, emotional or mental are a complete ILLUSIONS! Feeling hungry, believing we will die if we don't eat, fears, self-doubt, paranoia, sentiment that people don't like us, fear of not being capable, panic, our dependance on people and places and subsequently on what they say to us, etc, etc, etc....
Date: 4/16/2009 1:53:26 AM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 1472 times
Yesterday I felt dizzy and had to stand up slowly to avoid fainting. But I felt happy. My senses of smell, sight, touch, hearing were hightened. The weather was pleasant and I soooooo felt the breeze, heard the cars passing and the birds tweetting, smelt the grass and the flowers and FELT the life passing by... That's what I'm talking about! I was getting closer to my true nature and the true nature of what is around me, the ground that carries me and the life that goes through me through the plants through the cement and all things, without a jugement without a thought, just passing...
My fridge was empty so I decided to buy and cook whatever my children wanted (on a fast, I find the easiest way not to be thinking about food too much is to give up the control of menus and shopping list as much as possible and shop eyes closed for just the few items required for the day. Full stop, and out of the shop). Roast chicken and home made chips was what my kids chorussed. Well, I thought, at least there is little chance that this is going to tempt me since I rarely eat meat. How wrong I was! For a split second (I was doing so well until then) while I was cutting the beast (my partner was late from work, he could have done the cutting, that was my plan) I did not think twice(not even once) and put a piece of juicy meat in my mouth and relished it!!!!
That's all folks, I did not go further than that. I did not throw in the towel. I am pretending nothing happen so as not to throw in the towel. I feel strong as ever and today will be a successful water day, as will the many following days!
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