Day one and reasons for fasting
To challenge my relationship with food get rid of my mental dependance on food and gain a true, detached and unemotional approach to food.(It may well be that my dependance on food is presently disguised because I crave healthy foods mostly).
Well I want to find out what I am made of: weak bone or strong bone?
Date: 4/14/2009 2:59:21 AM ( 10 y ) ... viewed 1865 times
I lack will power and strengh and I am constantly blown every which way by by the tiniest wind constantly changing my mind with the greatest sincerity and conviction.
For example: discipline gets you places, but being here and now is all that matters = How can I achieve anything yet stay receptive to the message(my order from above/inside)that comes with every instant? = how can I take charge of my life yet be completely at the service of god (as in that inner gide that's showing me my own tiny true place among all things living).
When I fast there always comes a point when I crave munching on those beautiful vegetables splashed with lemon juice, sprinkled with heaps of fresh herbs of all sorts, and that's when doubt sets in: "my body is ready for some life-giving vibrant vitamins" i tell myself. And:"this is good for me, nothing wrong with fresh organic vege..." and: "anyway I can still lose weight if I only munch on vege very occasionally"
But before long one thing leads to another and I start to succumb to all kinds of other really healthy foods that I think my body needs all of a sudden.
My "life exactly in the moment is where the truth is and my place lies" has blown me out of my fast and I am putting on weight again.
One more thing throws me off-course (never fails!) on sundays with my family (I have 3 children and their dad) or when my friends come, I start convincing myself that it is so important and beautiful to share together, and so awkward and rude not to join in.
+ It must be said, I cook for my family everyday (beautiful vege I might add) and that constitutes a challenge in itself but it cannot be helped!
I think that I confuse the voices of temptation and fear with the inner voice of my authentic guide.
REASONS FOR FASTING: To lose 9 kilos (back to where I was 15 years ago which a good comfortable weight for me)
To face whichever fears may arise during my fast.
Let's get started!
MY PLAN: only water, herbal tea, green tea allowed.
40 days from April 14th (today) till saturday the 23rd included.
If I have already reached my weight target b4 AND true hunger has returned (I heard of such a thing somewhere) then I can break the fast.
Break the fast with freshly squeezed juices for two weeks. Then two weeks of Raw vegetables (mmmmmmh...) as sparsly as possible and the idea then is to remain as in tune as pos with WHAT I fancy, stopping BEFORE I am full and taking the time to OBSERVE and FEEL myself digesting afterwards and how my body reacts.
I must stop worrying about what people think!!!!!!!!!!
I will just post main observations from now as I progress through the fast.
I expect the first 10 days to be the hardest.
Wish me luck!
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