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Blog: Plant Your Dream!
by YourEnchantedGardener

12433 blog entries; 17 entries per page; 1 pages; viewed 26,896,517 times
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  • Plant Your Dream! by YourEnchantedGardener
    • Peace Mission! by YourEnchantedGardener  15 y
      • Best Friend and others who love you   by  Tina Andrews     15 y     1,107
        • Re: Oh TIna!   by  YourEnchantedGardener     15 y     794
        • Re: Best Friend and others who love you   by  harpolove     15 y     849
          • Re: Best Friend and others who love you   by  Tina Andrews     15 y     980
            Subject:   Re: Best Friend and others who love you
            Username:   Tina Andrews     contact Tina Andrews     email Tina Andrews
            Date:   9/24/2006 2:45:22 PM   ( 15 y ago )
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            Tina Andrews

            Hi Mary

            You sound angry and very negative toward me. You don't even know me. I am sorrry that I sound like Poor Me to you. That tone might stem from the fact that right now I am having one tooth a week being pulled and the drama will continue and so will the pain for another 2 weeks. I am tring to deal with this and the fact that I can't eat solid foods. I have always been a person who loves to talk and smile. I find myself now more and more quiet in fear of displaying my toothless grin. Suddenly I find myself being almost cripple with arthritis with both my left and right knee. These past few months I have been on too many medications. I normally do not take any medication except once in awhile an aspirin. One my one I have stopped taking a majority of my prescribed medication. Instead I have been doing research to find other alternatives in my diet and exercise to make changes in my health. This was how I found the curezone blog. What a surprise it was to see my father was mentioned and stirred such a passion in so many people. I have been following the liquid diet and other blogs. It has been a great help to me.

            If I were to start a blog it would not be one to discuss only my feelings about my father. Since your blog is called Harpolove, it seems you have formed your own blog about my father. Should I call my blog Harpolove 2 or do you think I am so negative I should call it Anti Harpolove.

            I am speaking my mind. I am sorry it is not what you wanted to hear. I was reading your blog and I did enter my comments which were not always negative. I have encouraged you to enjoy the new Walter you have found. I thought since you have not been active on your blog these last 2 months that you have been enjoying your life.

            I am not religious and I never have been. This does not mean that I don't speak my mind. I have been very outspoken to my husband. He did not agree with some of the choices I made for our children. He wanted them to go to neighborhood schools and I fought to get them into gifted school that were in Manhattan. He did not want our children to have to travel on the subway and saw no reason for our children to have to study music and dance. We could not afford private schools and our neighborhood schools were not that great. I constantly did research to find the best schools for them, after school activities, scholarships for music and dance lessons and opportunities for them to perform.

            Each of my children have different personalities. As I discovered a school that worked for one of my children did not work for the other ones. As a result I had 4 children for a time in 4 different schools. I drove some to their schools and others I escorted by subway to theirs. One of my children only wanted to be in Brooklyn but she also did not want our neighborhood school. So I drove her to the other side of Brooklyn. I taught my children to be independent.By the time they were in 7th grade they were able to take themselves wherever they had to go by subway and bus, but often I continued to drive them.

            If I had been more religious I would have displayed the same energy into their spritual lives. I might have insisted that my husband and I must raise are children Catholic or Christian or maybe Unitarian. Since he did not agree with that, I decided perhaps it was best if they chose their own religions when they got older. I think passing on a tradition and a belief is important. I regret that neither I nor my husband did this. I admit we were rather wishy washy.

            My mother was not very religious. She raised me Catholic as that was what my father wanted. She also put me in a Catholic boarding school. I hated it and managed to successfully get kicked out so I could go back to living with my mom. The two years I was away created a distance that we did not easily restore. At the same time my Dad was in and out of my life so it was really confusing. I don't think he wanted me to live in a boarding school either.

            I think the reason my husband and I have been able to live together for 27 years is because he is not religious. We have this in common.

            Now that my youngest is 18 I find myself reflecting on how I was as a mother. Certainly I find faults. I feel that I should have taken more of a stand in regard to religion.

            Leslie is not the only person who feels he should do homework on himself. I have been trying to do the same. When children become adults they blame their parents for a lot of things. It seems to be a natural course of events; my children blame me for things; I may blame my parents for things; they blamed their parents. I have been trying to make sense of it all.

            I do not agree with you that my father lived his life truly and sincerely. I have spoken to his sister, Aunt Vicky,(you may have met her and Aunt Dolly and Aunt Sally) in great length and his nephews and nieces, friends in his prayer group, members of his church, neighbors they have a different impression of him than you.

            I am not sure when you saw him last but evidently the last 22 years living in Alameda in his mother's apartment changed him. Everyone says he was not helping his family; he hid his money under his mattress and then later would accuse people of stealing his money, when actually it looks like he gave most of it away, but then would forget. Our family lawyer says he was suffering from a severe from of dementia and acutally got into trouble with the police for falsely accusing people of taking things from him. He made police reports all the time against members of his own family. Since I was living in NY and not part of his life, I am not sure if all that I heard was the truth, but considering it came from so many different sources from people who loved him I think a fair majority of the stories are.

            My cousin Kenny, who inherited the house my father lived in, has real money problems. He is struggling to pay the utilities, insurance and property taxes.
            He may lose the house. He may put a claim against Harpo's estate, but there may be a long line of bill collectors, the state and the government. Kenny adored Harpo but he resented the fact that he did not contribute any money towards living in the house and became such a pack rat that they had to hire a cleaning service to make his apartment liveable and they had to get an exterminator to come on a regular basis as they started getting rats from all the stored bags of garbage and things my Dad collected. In my own life I tend to also be a pack rat and I have seen mice occassionaly in my home. So as I said before no one is perfect. Like Leslie I am a bit overwhelmed by the clutter and I am slowly putting things back in order.

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