We all need the love and nurturing of mothers. My mother died when I was 30. I was devastated. I felt like an orphan.
I understand your comment: "I am screaming for Mother or any responsible
resemblance. It doesn't help knowing we have to stand on our own two feet
when our Whole F-in world seems to be Undependable.
"Momma! Momma! Momma!"
where are you????"
I used to ask this question often. Then I realized "Oh wait I am a mother I better shape up." So I spent most of my energy, time and love devoted to my four children. I enjoyed helping them through their daily problems, homework nightmares, relating to other children, applying for high schools, colleges, grad schools, making doctor appointments, typing resumes etc. and then also helping my husband look for better jobs over the years, make his travel plans, doctor appointments, fight with customer service for all the banking and bill mistakes, in addition to all the appliances, cars, cell phone services that have not worked, rebate offers that were promised but we never received, insurance companies that refused to pay our medical bills that are covered on our plan and numerous other things, that I am indeed a mother, a housewife and a nurturer, but in all that time I have successfully managed other people's problems I forgot to take care of my myself. How pathetic I have become in this neglect. Now my older daughters look at me as being inferior; tease me for looking old and unkept, but when their world starts to fall apart they are quick to call me for help. Only my son seems to give me back love, attention and respect on a daily basis. They are jealous as they think I love him more. He is the one I can depend on to make the effort to cheer me up and show compassion for my health problems. He rarely requests help or assistance; he is so shy and quiet he needs more help than the rest of us in the family;he was meant to live in SF and not in Brooklyn where if you do not have a mouth you can't survive, people push you around and step on you. He is the fragile flower flying in the wind. I am trying to teach him to be outspoken and stand up for himself. I think maybe in the future he should find a different place to live, where the weather and people are warmer and friendlier.
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