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Blog: poetry for the troubled.
by beautifulmistake.

2 blog entries; 2 entries per page; 1 pages; viewed 10,910 times
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  • poetry for the troubled. by beautifulmistake.
    • fade away. by beautifulmistake.  11 y
      • Re: fade away.   by  rudenski     11 y     984
        Subject:   Re: fade away.
        Username:   rudenski     contact rudenski     email rudenski
        Date:   10/16/2008 7:51:34 PM   ( 11 y ago )
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        Size: 1729 char.   URL:   http://www.curezone.org/blogs/c/fm.asp?i=1278667
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        rudenski



        with so little left to live for
        and no real reason to stay
        my time has come to leave
        and make everyone happy

        The first three lines of your poem wor but the fourth line doesn't flow well.



        its funny how some people
        always seem to mean so much
        but then they turn their backs
        when push comes to shove

        Love seems a word begging to be added somewhere in these four lines

        i've lost everything and then some
        and it seems time for this to end
        no one seems happy with me here
        this pain is nothing anyone can mend

        This one flows well and I like the "and then some"

        i can't hang on to this much longer
        it gets harder every day
        there's nothing keeping me here
        so i guess i'll just fade away

        I was looking for something a little more about what "then some" to finish up your poem...

        on a less stylistic response....

        I died many years ago in a NDE and when I came back I came to realize this world is just an illusion... Fading away is not such a bad deal... I mean it is just plain awesome on the other side.... That said... To avoid having to come back to hell again...this world... it is best to go out forgiving all harm that has ever been done against you as your soul may be tempted to " do a better job" and make you fall back into another body that dies... sheesh... I am finished with dying bodies... You also need to forgive yourself for the harm you have done for the same reason... The Light/God/ or whatever you call "LOve" has no grudges against you and neither should you hold unforgiveness toward yourself or others... If you get that part down before you fade and not just some litany then fading is not such a bad deal... I am ready to fade myself... no regrets...

        Y-H bLess

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