It doesn't sound like RAW food will be your answer to getting well...!!!
If you really want to get well your attitude needs to change...just look at the opening sentence in this post. It sounds like you are already convinced that you are not going to make it. Hey we are all on our way to dying. The most important thing is how you are thinking.
You need some serious help toward changing your attitude from one of pesimism to a brighter outlook before I'd want to take you on as a buddy.
Do a Master Cleanse and purge yourself of some toxins for awhile. This will help you not only clean out your body but your mind & spirit as well. Then once clean which usually takes atleast 15 days or more depending on how toxic you are RAW may be a viable option.
There are transitional steps to getting well. Jumping into something without 1st preparing will be too difficult for someone with your present attitude.
Remember it took years of negative thinking & unhealthy eating to get you to your current place of being. Curezone has a wealth of resources that can help you from Liver Flushes, Master Cleansing, Oil Pulling, and PH balancing...the opportunity to heal is here.
Try starting with loving yourself because frankly your self esteem seems rather low.