>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>"I dont see why doesnt #17975 shoot himslef."<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
coat it? You got it, and the longest reply I have ever written...
You throw out that vile crap like that to others and then expect good advice in return? Ever hear of Karma? What goes around comes around? You are asking for reasons to keep living while you are telling others to just commit suicide. I get the feeling you drop bombs like that to others and have no idea you hurt them, or you do and just cop out like you when said "Just being honsest" (the phrase of lonely people by the way). If something is true does that mean you should say it or hurt someone? How do you think #17975 feels right now after reading that? That is so F'd up, in what you said and the logic behind it even. In fact, you can sum up what I was going to say to you in that one very revealing and vile sentence you said to someone who asks for help in their time of need as you do now. What you say about people says more about you than it does them. With that one sentence, I know more about you than the rest of your whole paragraph told me. No wonder you have no friends. Good luck getting that office job when you can't work with others in a give-and-take relationship. Your socialization skills probably stink. What are you going to do about it to improve those skills?
I'm guessing your parents gave you no guidance or told you what you needed to hear to grow up, never taught you of consequences and how to treat others. Therefore you will likely have a lot of hard lessons in life since your parents didn't teach you those lessons - the real world is not "sugar coated" so prepared for a rude awakening. Your parents likely "sugar coated" life to protect you or because they had no idea what they were doing when they raised you. That's why you beg for non-sugar-coated advice now. You need old school guidance, your brain needs direction, you have pent up frustrations and motivations but nowhere to take it, nowhere to direct your energy.
*Is that a surprise? Your parents are obviously losers who are incapable of raising a kid to become anything in life. No wonder you turned out the way you did, with such a pathetic family. Everyone else in life is functional and happy, why aren't you? Maybe it's genetic! Do your parents blame their parents too?* Does this * paragraph cause a reaction in you? Is it true? A slap of reality within you coming to the surface now? Or not? Are you mentally standing up for your parents now, just a little? Does that tell you anything? Am I now the person you hate? Or agree with? Analyze what is going through your mind right now - what does that tell you?
Remove the passivity in your life... Stop blaming others, do something to change yourself. Throw out the passive tv movies and video games and face reality now while you can still change it. Go out and lead others instead of being led by others. Rewire your brain. Stop putting control of your life into the hands of others (like your parents) by blaming them for your failures in life. To give others credit for your failures is to give them control over you. Give others control and you must also give them credit for your successes. Do you thank others for you successes? When was the last time you thanked someone and gave them credit for your successes in life, however trivial those successes might be? You get credit for the good stuff, and everyone else gets credit for the bad stuff? Are you thankful for anything? Your parents fed and sheltered you for 18 years. A lot of people are f'ing homeless, wishing they could take a hot shower and eat like you can at any time. You have no idea how many resources you have right now at your disposal to better your life - but no one told you did they? It doesn't matter what your parents did, what matters is what you do now.
You are creating a victim out of yourself and spreading negativity to everyone else. Well, no one wants to hang out with a dead fish or a depressed ahole or whiner who only takes and never gives. Do you make an effort to make others feel good, or do you just expect them to give and give by making you feel good? Do you expect others to lead you around? No one likes to recieve negativity, and no one wants to be blamed for your failures, and no one wants the responsibility of your successes in life and the responsibility of controlling you - at least not the people who you want as friends and family. No one likes a pity party - give people the idea that you are a victim and they will start to believe you. When you give people the idea that you are a victim, you are asking them to treat you like one, which requires them to give you special attention and do all the work in the relationship, giving you all the attention with little in return. There are people who will gladly take control over you when you allow them, but these are the people who will screw you. The good people will get burned out and leave you, and the bad people will take advantage of you because they see you as weak - you are already a victim as you say, so they see you are a good target to take advantage of. Got it?
Your parents may be right or wrong, the point is, who f'ing cares? Nobody cares. Did you get that? Nobody cares what your parents did or didn't do. No one. No one but you, if you let it. Do I care? I could care less about how you were wronged by your parents. Do you care about my past? No! Nobody cares about what happened to you in your past. No one is going to focus on your past and the world is filled with much more horrendous monstrocities than your life, and your shrink wouldn't be helping you if he wasn't getting paid. No one is going to focus on your problems unless they get something in return, like a shrink gets paid money to do. And since you don't give in relationships, why would anyone even pretend to care?
You have to live with whatever baggage you decide to keep in life. You decide what baggage you have. Every day when we wake up we are reborn, and we decide what we will leave behind and what we will keep alive, today, and into tomorrow. Stop trying to convince people that you were wronged, because nobody cares and being a victim just sets the stage for being a victim in the future. You will fail if that is how you define yourself. For good or for bad, you are a self-fulfilling prophecy either way.
I would also highly recommend getting yourself a few mentors asap, people who can give you some guidance in life, the guidance your parents didn't give you. People in their 50's get mentors and go back to school. Get some socialization skills, by firstly going out and socializing. Have the humility and courage to seek out mentors who you can talk to - the best is free advice from older people who would actually love to guide you, not someone paid to pretend they care along with the fifty other clients to pretend they care about. You likely won't though. Most advice isn't taken at all and people fall rightback into their comfy safety nest and comfort zone. At some point you will learn all this stuff though. Your choice - either now at a young 18 or at 40, old and bitter and used up.
I hope what I am saying is making you feel uncomfortable, a slap in the face, because that is usually what is required for people to wake up. A slap with words is better than a slap of reality, as long as those words are taken seriously and acted upon. If not, be prepared for a lot of ugly life crises in your future. Regrets and wasted time is one of the worst things a human can experience.
What you have now, are life lessons that you can use to raise your own kids properly. Give your kids what you never had (guidance). Give them time and social functions instead of tv and video games.
You call yourself a "total f***ing loser" and a "freak" and expect others to think differently? Here's a hint on life... sometimes you have to fake it to make it. Pretending you are something you are not changes you. Going out in public/party/school whatever, happy, smiling and confident as hell (instead of a depressed unhappy dead fish) attracts people to you instead of repelling them, even if you are faking it. You get more confident and it snowballs so that you actually become what you were originally "faking". Do you know how powerful a smile is? Go out in public with a slight smile on your face (fake it) and look at the responses you get from people. You are a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Look up Karma, Self-fulfilling Prophecy, and Law of Attraction.
Everything you could possibly want is out there, you just have to find out how to get it. People can guide you, and there are a lot of people who will, but YOU have to do it yourself. If YOU don't do it, it'll never happen.