Excellent thought. Fantasies and desires are often an answer to frustration. I think you've found your issue, as this is a MAJOR frustration!
You may want to start a new thread on how to achieve cllmax.
Basically, if you cannot bring yourself to cllmax, don't expect anyone else to be able to! You'll always be better - for you - than anyone else! LOL! :)
You need to do breathing exercises, Kegles, and perhaps discover long-buried resentments and express them. That was what started me on the road to instant cllmaxs. I used to be able to only cllmax from oral sex, and lots of it, now it doesn't take much at all. There are great books on a woman's sexual Chi energy that should be a great help. "The Chi of Sexual Ecstacy" I think is one, do a search and you should find plenty, or e-mail me for some of the breathing exercises.