Wow, those were powerful testimonies. Thanks for sharing. If God can change Ce as mentioned in the testimonies, health challenges, HE can do the same thing for my challenges that can turn into opportunites one day. Thanks for your prayers. Praying for you and the group here. Only God can give us the strength to endure this race called "life." I am reflecting today which began last night. I came from the old fashioned belief system the wife stays home with kids, and still stays home after kids gone. I have worked however on and off a little, but have always been faithful, unpaid, helping husband with seasonal sprinkler business. Growing up I was a slower learner and more challenged continuing to be same way in the learning too. Recently had a job which was affected by my slower learning so it didn't work out for either end and was super stressful. I struggled in college, got a degree in Commuinications and minor human services. Did well cause generally good researcher and writer. Then with the hair issue bringing down the self esteeem, and having been totally dependent on hubby for all these years,35 years married, I continue to age and be stuck in career choices. I end up not doing anything as a result due to the stuckness. My husband has never been of the thinking plan for rainy days, like the future here, so as a result the future can come and if something happens to husband I have to move, can't pay bills, not that I am a very big spender, but thrifty and wise. Last night my husband didn't seem to care and thought that getting life insurance, which I need to look into, should take care of me. He said I would have to sell house and move from my comfortable setting as we still have house payments for about another 8 years. He doesn't recognize value of saving still, except for the winter months when business is slow.
I'm not blaming him totally, but I am stuck so I feel like I am digging myself into concrete. I understand scriptures and do believe them, but when you are feeling overwhelmed with these challenges, it makes it even more challenging. My husband is a great person, but he probably feels taking care of his "child" ends if he dies first. My father took care of me when I was under his roof too and feel an extension of that due to my inadequacies I am feeling. My husband can't relate and just feels selling the house solves everything. I read 40 days Purposeful Driven Life and know that I am very good in the good communication process, but feel stuck in knowing how to get to the next level due to my own lack of networking.
I am even thinking, with my bum shoulder that has been nagging for 8 months now with no chiropractor relief to try to go to the local hospital and see about housekeeping jobs. I'm not downgrading that, but I feel I have lots of potential inside never been tappped. I have to get lifted up so that I can motivate self and God's word to do that too. I'm just feeling very down at the moment, so writing this way.
It's just a feeling of hopelessness, but knowing God, HE does give us hope in HIS word. I love sharing health/wellness, but the people aren't there. I love helping, but haven't been in the environment that encourages that yet. I would love to teach kids, but limited in the learning since the processing comes very slow and I do believe short term memory is a problem too.
I would love to do some other type of work with my husband or in addition, as we seem to work well together, but he has not been interested in exploring other hobbies, etc. I'm the one who takes lots of classes, exploring and he's the support that would say, "I'm behind you Carol, just do it." He would not however be the one to take a class or explore other stuff. At the moment that is not him, which is fine as I can't control others, but take care of who I am through God.
All in all said, I know God is ABLE to do abundantly. Thanks for reading and listening to what feels like a broken heart that remains silent to a husband who just can't relate. Sometimes it's better to leave things unsaid rather than go into detail with someone who just can't relate. "This too shall pass..." It almost feels like being in a society where time passes by and you just don't fit. Feeling like wasted years and yes society is based on getting around.
I am praying for my hair pulling success to manifest so that I can help many hurting out there doing this behavior I posted about previously (look for hair). My testimony will be "patience" of so many years and then the total victory!
I have lots of clothing and other stuff I would love to learn more about ebay selling to do. Anyone out there who is into this can please email me privately or let the group know if you are interested in sharing, but know this may not be the right place. Others are making money at it, some making lots, so why not Children of God here too!
God bless you. Thank God for GOD in my life and yours too!