"HOWEVER, it caused crazy brain fog! And also, it caused me to have
depressed thoughts constantly. Meditation definitely made me very depressed. It
affected me cognitively and emotionally for the worse."
What you experienced was spiritual growth that accompanies meditation.
When we start our meditation journey our bodies are not used to us as spirit
taking control and they often rebel. Your body took over and convinced you
that it was a better one to control your life - and you as spirit gave in.
You are the one who created the depressed thoughts - not meditation. If
you don't like your depressed thoughts - let them go, don't keep repeating what
has made you miserable. Regardless of what you experienced you are
still responsible for your own reality - and everything in it that has ever
happened to it.
Meditating is like physical exercise - on a spiritual level. You are
toning your spiritual muscles for more in depth insight into who you are and
what you are here to do. You can and will hit blocks as you did and you
can continue to meditate and move through the blocks, or you can give up.
I've hit things that there is no way I wanted to look at (mainly blaming others
for my "problems") them a few years or even months ago, but if you
allow spirit to simply release the garbage and get you through it the love, joy,
and physical exhilaration is beyond description.
Everyone of us has hate, anger, pain (oh that pain) as well as joy and peace
within us. Gandhi said: "The only devil there is is the one that
is in each and everyone of us and that is where we should fight him."
You are learning about yourself and all that's buried within you. God
loves you and all of your creations - take a chance and learn to love yourself
with all of your faults and your good stuff too and you will be richly rewarded.