"I think I'm just so angry at God for the way my life has panned
out....I feel abandoned. I have tried to be a good person, but I feel that I am
being punished for some unknown reason and/or continually tested, but with no
end result or "reward" at the end. There are so many people who skate
thru life, but for me, it has been one crisis after the next (if not several
crises all at once!). Not trying to pity myself, but it gets overwhelming."
Churches have religion. God and religion are not the same thing.
You and everyone else on the Planet are an eternal spirit. You and I and
everyone else are therefore spiritual right now. God doesn't punish, never
has and never will. We each create everything that has ever happened to
us. Until you can accept that and face your own personal creations you
will go on creating things you don't like. The only "reward"
there is, is the one that you allow yourself to receive. In fact, your
"ills" may really be rewards. That's what I learned about my
Like you, I hated God for the abuse that I received in childhood - physical,
spiritual, and sexual. I wandered for a long time before re-discovering
that I am spirit and that I am the one who directs my reality. I learned
also that my abuse in childhood were simply learning experiences and now thank
my abusers for allowing me to discover my own way without having to follow the
sick direction they wanted me to travel.
The love that is within you far exceeds anything you will ever find outside
of yourself. Your life has a specific purpose for you and and only you and
no one else can tell you what your purpose is. All of your answers for
what you are facing are inside of yourself. That's where you can solve
them. Try thanking God for what you have been given. In the words of
Mother Teresa: "God never gives you more than you can handle. I just
wish that He wouldn't trust me so much."