|Date: 10/13/2011 8:25:53 PM ( 5y ago )
"I think I'm just so angry at God for the way my life has panned out....I feel abandoned. I have tried to be a good person, but I feel that I am being punished for some unknown reason and/or continually tested, but with no end result or "reward" at the end. There are so many people who skate thru life, but for me, it has been one crisis after the next (if not several crises all at once!). Not trying to pity myself, but it gets overwhelming."
Churches have religion. God and religion are not the same thing. You and everyone else on the Planet are an eternal spirit. You and I and everyone else are therefore spiritual right now. God doesn't punish, never has and never will. We each create everything that has ever happened to us. Until you can accept that and face your own personal creations you will go on creating things you don't like. The only "reward" there is, is the one that you allow yourself to receive. In fact, your "ills" may really be rewards. That's what I learned about my life.
Like you, I hated God for the abuse that I received in childhood - physical, spiritual, and sexual. I wandered for a long time before re-discovering that I am spirit and that I am the one who directs my reality. I learned also that my abuse in childhood were simply learning experiences and now thank my abusers for allowing me to discover my own way without having to follow the sick direction they wanted me to travel.
The love that is within you far exceeds anything you will ever find outside of yourself. Your life has a specific purpose for you and and only you and no one else can tell you what your purpose is. All of your answers for what you are facing are inside of yourself. That's where you can solve them. Try thanking God for what you have been given. In the words of Mother Teresa: "God never gives you more than you can handle. I just wish that He wouldn't trust me so much."
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