you feel lost..seems there's no fullfillment and mutual joy here..a wife who by the token of children will be in his life forever..whose obviously effective at pushing his buttons and whom he still very much attached to by his emotional responses and reactions allbeit negatively..Also it seems he's still in the midst and involved with their/her game..but untill he can find it in himself to let go and move on and devote himself to the relationship of the new and now....you're in for a MUDDY RIDE!
one rule, although not a guarantee buffer, is to consider getting involved with a man whose already definitely done and dusted a divorce or an emotionaly healthy seasoned singleton..no rebounds and demonstrates the ability to stand on his own two feet..falling for lame ducks sometimes has it's price and sometimes it's an unhappy ending one..but why not someone more stable than you would usually consider..ie from what you have learnt from your past experience, change the way you "pick men" and maybe be wary /decline the advances from the "usual type" that approach you who could be the type that appreciate you're understanding and sympathy aside from just your attractiveness!!!!
Just opened our house to a lodger recently kicked out by his wife..already hes out trying to find a female to console him and act as pacifier in the meantime whilst still playing mind games with his spouse and yet would be back home with her in a heart beat..how far away is this man from leaving you high and sucked dry of all your support on the shores with a broken heart? Hope you can find a mutually, fun, supportive and nourishing relationship which you can both grow from in equally positive and healthier ways. if it's just a problem of his inability to cope with stress..then that really, like his smoking is down to him to learn how to manage and curb..but how it manifests and manner it effects you and how much youre willing to put up with and tolerate ..is actually finally up to you!