I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 yrs now. we were officemates once and thats how i met him. He has had 2 kids from two different women and he didnt open up about this the moment we met for fear that i might not pay attention to him. i found out about this, and i've already had feelings for him so i just accepted him despite his past. i have now been living with him in his parent's house, his brothers live with us too. My boyfriend is smart, funny, talented, musically inclined, handyman, great in bed, sweet, techy and knows how to deal with people, basically he can do anything he sets his mind to. Those are the reasons i liked him. See, two or maybe three months ago i found a job where the both of us could work at the same building, we're not exactly officemates, our time scheds were diff but there are times that we see each other on the same floor. He was a boss there. I discovered that he has cheated on me with an officemate of his. I asked him at first if he's seeing anyone he said NO, till i found out about it myself. I see the girl in the office and have confronted her, she kept on saying that she will no longer see him, nor talk to him but i keep on discovering that they still see each other, talk on the phone when im not there and have sex in motels. This happened more than 6 times already. I have asked my boyfriend to tell me why he does that but he keeps on saying that he doesnt feel as though he could talk to me this and that and that he wont do it again, so i became more understanding, gave him more sex, paid attention to all of his needs, i changed for him. He quit his job already, but he admitted still talking to the woman even creating a new facebook account so that he could still communicate with her. That facebook incident was the last time i was aware they had contact. So i offered to work for us just so i could make sure he's being a good boy at home. My boyfriend mentioned that he is guilty and that he needs my help, he wants me to help him change. I on the other hand gave him another chance, cause he chose me over her and he admitted his mistakes sincerely. i have been constantly monitoring him, his emails, web accounts, constantly calling him to make sure he is at home, asking his parents if he left the house, while i give him all the things he wants or needs. he is like a prisoner and a pet but i dont see him as that.I have just been so hurt and even numbed to the point that my perspective of him changed completely. I lost trust in him. i love him so much that i do all these to him. and he consents to it to prove that he loves me and is changing. the thing is i've gotten so paranoid, i feel like he is still cheating on me, contacting that woman on the internet and deleting all history of their conversation so i wont catch him. sometimes i feel like when he goes out he goes to a payphone to call her, or he borrows the phone of his brothers so he can text her there. i really dont wanna be so much more mean to him than i already am, i am aware that he is having a hard time, but he brought this to himself. I want solid proof that he isnt fooling around cause i dont believe in his words anymore. We get into fights bec of my suspicions which i cant prove since he is too techy and all, i even want to install a camera in our place so i can really monitor him. omg, im so confused right now There are some guys who wants to court me saying that i dont deserve him, i acknowledge that fact and agree to it completely. but another part of my mind tells me that he might also be telling the truth, that he has already changed. that he really loves me like he claims he does. If only i find out what's really happening, some sort of a confirmation that he has changed, or that he is still cheating on me so i can move on already. I just want to find out if he is really sincere, or if he's just playing with me. I need to know so i could move on to the next step.he's changed then i'll give him back his trust, otherwise i will move on. i just feel our relationship too important to waste with the wrong assumptions, I love my boyfriend so much, i am in pain bec im hurting him and myself in what im doing to save this relationship. HELP ME PLS PLS PLS.