Thank you again, so much! I will certainly heed your advice. I saw my son last night. He's been living at his dad's house for about the last year or so. He has the entire upstairs to himself and, yes ... no rules!! But, that's another story and I can't tell the old man what to do. I started paying for my son's Cell Phone years ago when he still lived with me and told him I would continue to as long as he stayed in school and got GOOD grades. We checked his grades last night, and they actually were pretty good, which surprised me. I told him that, if he got all As and Bs this semester, I would continue to pay. If not, I will stop. He does work part-time and really likes his job. But the kid still has a lot of free time on his hands and doesn't have to pay for anything; add in the psycho narcissistic girl, booze, pot and it's a recipe for nothing but trouble.
I told him last night, as you advised, that I was not going to be in contact him anymore and that his Dad will be checking on the grades. I also said that when he needs me, I'll be there but that I can't argue/talk/get crazy and upset over him anymore. And you are SO right: there will NOT be any "I told you so's" from me. I certainly have a few people in my past that make me wonder what in the hell I was thinking! It happens to just about all of us and I will not reproach my son for this one.
After what you told me about your eldest son, I can absolutely see why you understand all of this so well. I tend to question my parenting a lot, especially where my son is concerned. But I'm doing the best I can. Funny thing, my daughter is thriving and doing great. Well ... they are all very different. Thank you, Soulful; you are very wise!