When young I could make happen what I wanted and needed to happen to get along quite nice in life.
When sick I drew into my life the knowledge necessary to regain my health.
Now healthy again - Nothing works.
I can't make happen what I want, or even what I need, to get along well in life. All my efforts are stopped and even reversed.
What's going on? This isn't the "normal" life as I have lived it in the past before being sick. Nothing works anymore. My postulates don't stick. I have to keep a very close eye on my thoughts because if I catch myself wanting something I'll for sure get the opposite. And I can't live in the negative world of bad thoughts all the time to get the opposite of them.
So, it's a problem. A very big problem.
My home life is terrible, my business is slowly dying along with everyone elses around here. I'm not where I want to be or who I want to be with. And totally helpless to change it all. My power is gone. Apparently being sick for an extended length of time reverses the mechanism.
Use to be all I had to do is think about something and it showed up in my life. Think about a person I'd like to see and next thing you know there they were right in front of me or at least calling me on the phone. Not so anymore.
I'm on a reverse vector and I know it and have no idea how to get off it.
Of course I've studied "The Secret" and all the metaphysical and quantum physics of it all and it all makes very good sense and indeed was the way I used to be able to make my life work. Not so anymore. Nothing works.
If this is the way the rest of my life is going to be I'm really having a very difficult time finding a reason to carry on.
Again, when I was sick I drew into my life the necessary things to resolve that sickness. Now that I'm healthy I can't draw anything I want or need into my life. I get the exact opposite.