You said "My IB so wants to tell me something beyond what I am 'hearing or seeing' outside of me. I have not listened. I think the reason for 'blah' feeling."
Has it occurred to you there is a rocket of desire there...?
I WANT TO LISTEN TO MYSELF. I WANT TO BE HEARD. I WANT TO HEAR.
So something tangible you could 'work' with is allowing that desire and working up the scale towards it. Or put another way, working up the scale to ALLOW it! Edit-To allow your desire. Because right now I don't think you are allowing your desire. (?)
What do you think?
Edit P.S. What is IB?
And FYI, most of us feel this way at some point, we don't want to sit still. That is the human condition of manic ego running our show.