For all you single ladies who are in such a hurry to get married, here's a quick piece of Biblical advice:
Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz.
While waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for ANY of his relatives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz , Goodfornothinaz, Lazyaz, or Marriedaz, & especially his cousin Beatinyoaz. Please, wait on your Boaz & make sure he respects Yoaz!"
Thanks for posting this hilarious observation! LMAO!!! Considering that I'll never be accepting applications for the rest of my life, I'm not searching for ANY "oaz!" LMAOLMAO!!!!
Thanks for the laugh - Oh, my.....LOLOL
His position is understandable considering what happened with his last marriage.
He probably has a lawyer who is on retainment for all his business and personal legal matters that is bound to look after his best interest. The lawyer is probably making big bucks, and wants to keep this position.
So he isn't thinking about your concerns at all. Prenups don't necessarily have to be bad if your boyfriend is thinking about your needs also. Does it provide for you in the event of a problem marriage, or his business? [ Yes, I know 20 year old's don't let negative thoughts come into their minds when in love] Because of a hard lesson learned it has come into your boyfriends mind.
Not sure if you can reverse all that you have done, but I can tell you that the decision to do it should have come after you found all this information out. You said yourself that you know nothing of the business world so at the very least you should ask for a copy of this prenup to read, and maybe get a lawyer of your own to explain what you don't understand.
If this boyfriend feels the same about you as you do about him, it shouldn't be a problem. If it is a problem, better know now than later.
Probably not what you wanted to hear but..........food for thought
I really hope everything works out for you. Good luck.
Reading the OP's entire message revealed that her boyfiend isn't interested in protecting his interests. He's interested in asserting control. This is a cohabitation contract, not a legally, binding contract of marriage. In most Family Courts, cohabitation issues don't have a whole lot of legal remedies. It's like playing house, and then demanding the legal system to sort things out when the game goes south.
Prenuptial agreements? I have no issues with those. Cohabitation contracts? ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! And, from what the OP described as the "terms," I have to just shake my head, do an epic face-palm, and go get some coffee.
Although your response doesn't address the issues of the original poster, I will state, unequivocably, that it only seems that "rights" are in women's favor. The reason that it seems that this is true is that legistlation was written in an attempt to "protect" the previous "norm" of women in the U.S. as homemakers, or stay-at-home-moms......whatever you want to call it.........via "No Fault" divorce. This was the first step to equalize "rights" between men and women.
"No Fault" meant that, if a man ran off with his secretary and left his wife and four children, he couldn't kick his wife and children out of "his" house and be legally entitled to keep all of the property and income because HE "earned" it. This new legislation took into account that a homemaker and stay-at-home-mom had value and worth, and that she or he (in more contemporary cases) would not be literally left on the streets, along with the children. "No Fault" means that either spouse can decide that they no longer want to be married to their partner for any reason under the sun, and they aren't legally obligated to "prove" that a divorce is warrented. This is a "good" thing, and it is a very "bad" thing. It's "good" because it divides the marital assets and debts, equally, and distributes the assets, equally - in theory. It's "bad" because there are no punitive consequences for bad behavior. In my case, my spouse of 12 1/2 years depleted my individual (PRIVATE) investment accounts down to nothing via coercion (my responsibility) and outright forgeries (HIS responsibility and 100% illegal). He experienced NO punitive damages, walked away from a mountain of legal and financial obligations, and left me with about $38 in change left in the change jar, sick, homeless, and destitute.
There is a gulf of angst between all peoples on the planet, now, from gender orientation to financial income class exclusions, we are a "global community" that is so far out of balance that it's become dangerous, on every level. There is no balance or harmony, and nobody seems to have a clear sense of who they are. There are some who definitely have sorted out their sense of purpose, but they are becoming few and far between.
Now, with regard to the original poster's dilemma, if you read the entire original post, there is clearly a control issue present, and possibly domestic abuse of some sort. Not uncommon and most often tolerated by the victim and ignored by general society - until blows are struck. So, each individual situation is just that: an individual situation. It's not "all men" or "all women" at issue in this thread. It's one woman who is going to make the mistake of her lifetime if she remains with the goon that she described, even if only 1/2 of what she described was 100% objective and accurate.
So..........please..........relax about the perceived gender bias. It only seems to be in favor of women, but I assure you that it most certainly isn't. You only need to sit in on a few hearings in Family Court to realize that this is not true. Volunteer for the local Victim's Services agency and get a practical working understanding of what is really happening, these days, and it might give pause for thought as to how we (our society and culture) got to this dreadful pass.
I am so sorry to read of your experiences. I am not certain if your post was an all-out venting event, or if you're seriously questioning "what to do," at this point.
I had similar experiences and I assure you that there is, indeed, a Life After Mistakes. I chose two very dangerous partners, and I spent 30 years in one form of dysfunction or another. The story is long and I've blogged about my recovery and healing processes here on CureZone: "Coping With Betrayal." If you're inclined, it may be of some encouragement to read a couple of entries.
Do post back and determine whether you're ranting (which is TOTALLY allowed), or reaching out for suggestions.
Brightest healing blessings to you
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