I am very sorry that you're so sad, right now. There are a number of things to contemplate about this on-again-off-again relationship.
The most important thing to understand and "accept" is the fact that you are not responsible for the happiness, well-being, healing, or progress of another person. You are the only person that you can control, and that's all there is to it. You cannot "fix" whatever her issues might be anymore than you could "fix" the life cycle of the solar system.
Another thing to consider is that it appears that this woman has some toxicity issues. Again, you cannot "fix" those for her, either. Some people are simply toxic. Have you ever spoken to her ex, in person? If you haven't, then you only have her version of what happened and "being negative" is a very, very broad description. That could be as simple as saying that he didn't think that the color blue suited her, or as dire as beating the living shit out of her for putting the toilette paper roll on the roller the wrong way, and everything in between. So..........."negative" can mean a host of things.
It may be a wise option to go totally "No Contact" until you've had a chance to sort yourself out and determine what you are NOT going to tolerate and appreciate your own value, first. It just might be that you will come to realize that you deserve far, far better in a companion and partner than what this woman is able to share with you.
Brightest blessings to you - you'll sort this out in a way that you'll learn, grow, and set boundaries for yourself, and others.
Wat? I seriously do not understand your post, on any level. Sex is the reason for divorce? Is that what you're typing? And, that circumsision has something to do with this theory? ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sit in a Family Court, for a few days, listen and observe. Divorce rates are so high because of "No Fault" rules in nearly every State in the U.S. (48, I believe), and in Europe. This is a relatively "new" legal concept that was adopted about 60-70 years ago ostensibly to protect housewives from destitution and ruin if their husbands ran off with the secretary leaving them with no place to live, no income, and children to feed. The rule used to be that whoever earned the income owned the income, along with any properties purchase with the income. The rules were changes so that anyone could break the legal contract of marriage for any reason, and that all debts and assets would be evenly distributed between the two parties. So, one person could come home (and, this has, indeed, happened) to find that their spouse has moved out, taking every piece of furniture with them, and is filing for divorce because they don't like eating macaroni and cheese every Thursday.
"No Fault" was a good idea, in theory, but it didn't account for seriously bad behaviors (like fraud, sexual perversions, etc.) and this needs to be AMENDED - punitive damages for specific behaviors would cause many, many, many people to reconsider their actions before they make a legal error if there is money on the line. It's not about morals, ethics, or simple values, anymore, and the only thing that people seem to respond to is facing a financial consequence for the rest of their lives.
That is so true - the lawyers will be paid regardless of the negotiations or judge's rulings.
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