Hi all, I need help for my friend. He was recently admitted in the hospital due to his alcohol problem. He has fatty liver, poor balance and hepatitis too. He is unable to stop or reduce alcohol intake. He says about the headache and related problems, but never been ready to leave this drinking. What should we do? Will admitting at any nearby alcohol addiction treatment centre in Alberta like Edgewood help him? Any suggestions?
I sorry that your friend is in such a situation. You are using the word, "we," when talking about his getting help and there is absolutely nothing that you, personally, can do to facilitate his recovery. Nothing, at all. Your friend has to want to facilitate his own recovery and, from your post, it seems as if he's not prepared to do that. Sure, you can spend the outrageous money on admitting him and it might be helpful, to some degree, but long-term success is strictly a personal endeavor that requires intense and dedicated efforts by the addict, alone. Unless your friend seeks help on his own and does the hard work to manage his addiction, no facility or program is going to be of any long-term benefit.
For you, I would strongly encourage you to consider attending Alanon meetings so that you can learn how to manage this situation. You can still care deeply about someone who is addicted, but you will learn that you are not obligated to make their addiction your issue.
Brightest blessings to you and your friend.
Julieloran wrote, "...be a good friend and step by step convince him that he needs a bit of help and support. become his treatment!" This is how codependency is cemented. Shouldering someone else's issues as if they belong to us is one of the hallmarks of codependency which is one of the ramifications of caring about any addict - we want them to sort it out so badly that they become the center of our universe and everything revolves around them, including altering our own behaviors to avoid saying, or DOING, anything that might, "...might make him pissed at you." Our lives then become a game of prediction and expectations - we have to keep on our toes and PREVENT the addict from getting pissed off, for any reason, because that will cause them to drink, snort, inject, gamble, eat, vomit, binge-spend, etc., and WE, the non-addict, will make ourselves feel responsible for the choices of the addict.
Addiction is a personal mental illness. It is something that can absolutely be managed, but it will never be cured and it is absolutely recognized as an illness.
The addict is responsible for addressing and managing their own addiction, not someone else. And, while the original poster meant well, it will destroy them just as thoroughly as the alcohol will destroy the alcoholic if they attempt to force a cure upon this individual.
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