"If you have any questions please send them our way, please no negative comments or you will be blocked!"
I have one question and a followup comment: why are you posting your request to a public and anonymous website in search of a child? Children are not puppies or kittens - they are human souls and going through a legitimate agency might be inconvenient, or...."a very agonizing and stressful process..." but that's the way it's done unless you want to pay tens of thousands of dollars for a child on the black market.
I'm so sorry that you've experienced such a sad series of events. Venting is helpful, to a degree.
The problem with acrimonious divorces is that there are very hard feelings involved. Most people don't opt for counseling because their friends and family tell them to "...just get over it and move on." In many cases, the betrayals require the assistance of a trained, licensed professional to help people process what they've experienced and put it in perspective so that they can move on with their lives.
As it is, this was done over 30 years ago, and I can completely understand the situation (see my blog, "Coping With Betrayal" on CureZone). This is your opportunity to let go of everything so that you can be whom you were intended to be. You do not have to be involved in your ex-wife's choices or decisions.
Also, child support is a very touchy subject for most people, especially those who are making the payments. Legally speaking, once that payment has been made, it is nobody's business how that money is spent. Yes, I tend to agree that it may not be "fair," but it is just, and most people cannot and will not accept that.
I would gently and firmly suggest that you really contemplate getting involved with some strong counseling therapy with a professional that is mature, knowlegable, and well-trained. This doesn't mean that you would be "weak" or incompetent because you sought help. This is beyond most people's ability to process, hence the need for an experienced guide to better emotional health.
I wish the very best for you and bright blessings on your healing path.
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