My boyfriend and I have been together for 14 months. For the first 8 months Joe was in a rock band that toured across the U.S. and during those 8 months he did cheat on me considering we only saw eachother every few months. He decided to quit the band so he could be with me. Joe and I currently live together in an apartment. We've strugled on and off because Joe has a problem with lying and being sneaky about girls. He hasn't cheated on me since he quit the band but he is always talking to girls
online and flirting with them. He also has gotten girls numbers and put them under guys names. One time while I was over night at work he tried having a girl come to the apartment. Everything I just said I have found out of my own because Joe has either lied about it or tried to hide it. Finally a few weeks ago I caught him lying because he had gotten a girls number from work and put it under someones elses name.I finally decided to break up with him. We ended up breaking up and getting back together 3 differant times that week. We are currently still together right now. I wouldn't mind him talking to girls if he wasn't so flirtaous with them and didn't lie about it all the time. I'm so in love with Joe that I can't stand being without him. But now I'm strugling because during this entire relationship Joe has been trying to fix something else. Joe does not know how to cuddle or be romantic. I complain about it all the time to him but then he just gets pissed at me because I complain. He promised he'd work on it and yes, it's gotten alittle better but he won't cuddle in bed because he can't sleep cuddling, he won't cuddle while watching tv because we watch tv on the floor. Then the real big problem is when Joe and I have sex. He puts it in and finishes and gets up. He doesn't do any foreplay, doesn't kiss me, and has never said I love you during sex. And after he's done he doesn't cuddle me. He just gets up and does whatever he was doing earlier. We haven't had a passionate kiss since over a year ago. He knows I feel on this subject too but that's one thing he hasn't gotten better at at all. Please people what do I do? I love this man so man and have done so much for him but I don't know what to do. The last break up he promised me never to talk to girls and to be more affectionate. Which he deleted girls numbers from his phone but he still isn't very affectionate. I guess that's something that won't change.During our entire relationship he tells me he loves me and wants to marry me. So the question is do I stay with him and continue feeling like this? Please help me.... I really don't talk to my friends about this because it's so much information. Please HELP!!!!
Why do you stay with him? He cheats, lies, sex is unsatisfying.
GO! I think you know that, though.
"I love this man so man and have done so much for him but I don't know what to do."
~whatever you've "done" for him, it's not working....
Why work so hard for this guys "love"?
Hang by yourself for a while. Learn to love yourself, and realize that there are others out there that will return your love. It really shouldn't be so much work. You really can't ever change another, you can only change yourself... :)
Why would you leave him, if you really love him? Hallo?
Something is wrong here!
Why would anyone leave someone, when there is such a strong love?
Do you know how many people in this world live alone without loving anyone?
So what if he cheats? Most people (65%) do one time or another. Remember, you love him, not some other people!
So what if he lies? Most people do (99.99999999999999%) , one time or another. Remember, you love him, not some other man!
So what if he is terrible in bed? Most men are (81%). Remember, you love him, not some other person!
Why don't you just accept that he is a cheater and there will be no problems?
You are the problem!
Why don't you just accept that he is a liar and there will be no problems?
You have problem accepting the reality!
What is your problem?
You want a Superman?
Those guys exist only in your imagination!
Stay with him, and love him, and accept him the way he is, with all of his failures, imperfections, problems, sins.
You will never find a perfect guy!
Something will always be wrong!
At least, with this guy, you know where you are. Liar. Cheater. OK. That is him! You love him!
You think you love him? He think he loves you?
Just accept the life like it is.
The problem is not in him. You are the problem in this relationship!
Your inability to accept him like he is!
If you could change yourself, become more perfect, more tolerable ... there will be no problem!
Why do you care about other women he is with? Why do you care if he is not telling the truth?
You say you love him?
Real love is unconditional love!
Your love is just a joke. Poor shadow!
If you would really love that guy, you would make sure he has got a new girl in bed every other evening. (Every guys dream. It is far more exciting to have sex with someone new, then with someone you already know well. Remember the excitement of first time sex? Well, all men wish that kind of excitement every evening. And, he can't get it with a woman who he has already been with. That means ... to get the same level of excitement, he needs a new woman every evening! Love him! Give him a new woman every evening. That is a real love!)
If you would really love that guy, You would never ever complain to him about anything.
If you would really love that guy, You would never ever question if he is telling the truth!
You would be grateful that he wants to sleep with you at all, (after all those other hot women!)
That is a real love! Yes. If you would really love that guy ... he would be your KING!
Your love is just a shadow of real, unconditional love!
You think you love him?
You hate him! That is the truth!
Only woman that hates a guy would complain to him every day.
Only woman that hates a guy would want him not to enjoy sex with a different woman every evening.
There is nothing better then sex. And, there is nothing better then sex with a different woman every evening! Hallo! DO you realize how much you hate that guy!
DO you realize what you are asking him to sacrify!
You must be .... out of your mind.
Only woman that hates a guy would want him to sleep with her and her only. (Now that is boring! Trust me, I know it. I am with the same woman .. and sex does get boring, if ever I get a chance to have it! )
Only woman that hates a guy would want him to change, and become something that he is not.
You hate him. Try to realize that.
You hate him.
You hate him.
You hate him.
You hate him.
You hate him.
You hate him.
You don't love that guy.
Stay with him and love him. We, guys ... we need that!
In this day and age, the number 1 reason not to
stay in a relationship with someone who is
a cheater and a liar, is sexually transmitted
Back in the 60's and 70's, it was a different
kind of world and there was more room to be
understanding and there were all kinds of
I had an open relationship for awhile and the
understanding was, what was good for the goose
was good for the gander and since I took for
myself, the freedom my mate claimed, he did
not like the idea of worrying about another man
wooing me away. So, we renegotiated into a
When he began cheating again after many many
years, it was not the cheating that bothered me.
I should have expected it when a college buddy
and he began spending a lot of time together.
What really bothered me was that he was not up
front about it and did not use condoms and so
he was putting me at risk and that was not
acceptable and it felt like a big betrayal.
That he worked so hard to cover his tracks also
made me feel like I did not want to be in a
relationship if I could not trust him.
There are good men out in the world who also
would like the safety of a monogamous relationship
relative to STDs and do not play games and who
are also seeking meaningful relationships.
While someone like you, and you are not alone
in your philosophy, may enjoy or tolerate this level
of anxiety and dissatisfaction in a relationship,
many more thrive in a relationship which is
supportive and more balanced.
She can still love him, and leave him. Loving
one's self enough to want to be happy is more
important, imho, than loving someone who is
really not available and who is not going to
reciprocate in a way which this poster seems to
want and need.