I'm not sure why he only likes it hard and fast, lame. I am a male and slow and easy is the way to go most of the time. My wife thinks I am great in bed, but us males are sexually limited in so many ways. I don't feel any kind of buildup in any way and Ejaculation comes about so abruptly and is a joke entirely and completely overrated to the point of being labeled an ogasm, which is false. Us guys don't ogasm at all, in fact I despise Ejaculation all together. My wife gets to enjoy multiple, full body and intense ogasms, but not me and this is problematic to me for obvious reasons. Ejaculation is purposeful, a bit of relief only, not really pleasurable like ogasms, which are purely pleasure without purpose.Where it is at for us guys, is blow jobs, Oral sex is great and the only intensity us guys experience in bed. Practicing thorough and quality oral sex is crucial and is what I would suggest to your man, who can only pump away hard and fast, Weird and lame. But on the other hand, my wife says she does not experience near as much pleasure from receiving oral sex as I do. As intense as Oral is for me, I enjoy giving as much as receiving. So connecting physically in bed is obviously very challenging, but connecting on an emotional level comes naturally. Good luck with trying to understand and solving your concern with your man. Hope my input has helped.