There aught to be a forum about 'battered spouse syndrome.'
I have been trying to recover for decades. Generally, I am functing pretty darn good. But sometime something or nothing triggers a memory and I get real anxious and depressed.
Please try to get EMDR therapy. It means eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. It is relatively new in therapists offices, say about 20 years if that. Read Dr. Laurel Parnell, PH.D. book called Transforming Trauma: EMDR. It will work for everything from Viet Nam Vets PTSD, to auto accident, child abuse, battered wifes, husbands etc. I had no idea anything could be so curative or powerful. I was totally unaware that I had never really experienced true happiness & inner joy until I got EMDR therapy. My inner joy after one particular session was so intense that I thought I was experiencing insanity. Then with great compassion for myself I realized I had never known joy my whole life until I was treated with EMDR by a great healer. It changed my life completely! I never had a bad man in my life again! I was & am forever free from some very heavy chains of my childhood. Please look into it. I am surprised there is not a forum for EMDR here. The stories would be great to share & it would benefit so many people to know about EMDR. God Bless.