Let's analyse your statements...
It sounds like a wonderful and enlightening and fulfilling state to be in. I've been in it a bit, but I need to practice my meditation more.
This state is not a state to be achieved, it is a state to be realised. Self-realisation and the recognition that the present moment is all we have, is not something that has to be achieved with more practice - that is an ego notion.
Enlightenment is our natural state, so it merely has to be awakened to, which happens in an instant.
My question is, how do you handle planning for tomorrow? Or interacting with your partner when they're angry? You still need your intellect.
I only use time for practical purposes, rather than dwelling in past or future, with regrets or worries.
From a scientific perspective, neither past nor future exists, other than as an aspect of mind.
I plan stuff as it occurs to me, either intuitively or otherwise - oftentimes, everything just happens at the right time, kinda like I have control of the matrix or something.
Of course, my healing is still very elusive, but everything in good time, yet without the dimension of time (it's a puzzle).
Both my partner and I know that anger is a resistance to reality, so we work on cute ways to signal this realisation to the other when they need it (e.g. as a wink, a daft titter etc.).
Sometimes, we acknowledge that we have to dwell in egoic, resistant anger, just as a reference point that we're not totally enlightened.
Do you remember this funny saying from Ram Dass...
If you think you're enlightened, go and spend a week with your parents! ;-)))
The moral is as follows:
- Hear the thought stream in your head and know that there is a separate witness (the higher self) to those thoughts, which is actually coming from the same place as those thoughts. For example, "oh, there's me thinking about AF again...hmmm, interesting...oh, there's me having a harsh reaction to a zinc supplement...oh, there're some veins in my arm getting injured by chemicals...oh, there's my most-hated neighbour meddling in someone else's business again (whoops!) etc." These are all voices that can be witnessed and "allowed without judgement", but they obviously don't have control anymore over the "witness". As you start to become more the "witness" of your thoughts, you realise that your head is a very noisy place with way too many thoughts...Sometimes the mind not only has monologues but entire dialogues, trialogues etc. in strange mock environments with ridiculous collections of people and themes, not to mention guilty emotions and very judgemental pronunciations. For example, when I used to bike ride to work, my mind would drift into work scenarios rather enjoying the beautiful sunrise and dew on the ground - I was there, but I wasn't "there" (until I started to focus more on the moment!).
- You don't need some fancy meditation practice, but rather just the means to access the state of "no mind", wherever you are. Robert Pirsig said that "the only zen you will find on the mountain top is the zen that you bring with you".
- Getting angry is simply a resistance to reality - an inability to accept reality as it is...This is insane...It is insane to waste energy on resisting something that just is. People say "they let me down", which is just a story surrounding someone not meeting their obligations - that fact remains, regardless of the person's intent, so why lament (out of resistance)?
The more you start to realise the noise generated in your head, the more you can deconstruct yourself as some abstraction of your own thought stream...and wake up as your true self, which is not based on the thought stream, but based on pure reality in the present moment - this is where the vast power of the universe lies...The universe of which you're the ultimate expression. Yeah, you are the cosmos...
As Tyler Durden says in Fight Club "the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world"...
Life is awesome and you are IT!!! So stop thinking you need some punk-assed meditation practice to realise that shit while it's been there all along...God is within and that's where your true power lies - in that realisation!
You're not a bag of skin and organs...you're some crazy, miraculous piece of high (floppy, silent, pink) technology somewhere like 13.7 billion years from an energetic opening into our known universe. Existential weirdness if ever I've contemplated so...
Or maybe you're just Joe Bloggs down the road?! ;-)))
So your Earth suit is failing? Do your best to fix it and help others fix theirs, while having an adventure and spiritual journey in the process...You never know which universe this wormhole is taking you to next...