Trick X Master
So I went to the desert because I was experimenting with the mold/chemical sensitivity hypothesis of cfs/me. Well, about 5 days in I started getting really bad tinnitus (ringing in ears). Then, I started to get racing thoughts and deep anxiety and depression. Then my digestion stopped. Then, I flew back home to seattle.
Its been 19 days since this happened and it seems as though the changes are permanent, no rest or anything changes it. I have bad ringing in the ears and racing thoughts all day. My fatigue and crash tolerance came down to nil. I can't walk or do anything without bad fatigue and depression overcoming me.
I asked this mold group I was in and they said I "unmasked" where my body was actually acclimated to a certain amount of toxins and set its baseline there, but when I went to the desert my body shifted homeostasis and tried to detox, and that is what is causing my symptoms. Personally, I think that my body is just more relaxed in forest places like seattle or hawaii, and that the desert was hard on my body.
I have no choice but to try to take antiseizure/bipolar meds to calm my brain down (nmda overactivity) so that the anxiety and depression calm down. I have been taking 300mg gabapentin at night for a week without much results. I think I am going to try out lamictal as I heard that is supposed to be more antidepressive.
I also found a hypothesis for why I can't meditate without getting bad depression and anxiety later from it. Meditation activates the nmda receptors in the brain somewhat. If the baseline excitotoxicity (sensitivity) of the brain is too high, then meditating will cause the brain to cross the threshold into excitotoxicity. This totally makes sense, as I remember meditating a year ago and getting bad depression, so I upped my magnesium (nmda antagonist, calms excitotoxicty) and the depression disappeared. However, magnesium is nowhere close to strong enough anymore, my brain activity is severe. I feel like my brain is in a constant state of electrocution.
The only ways I can think of to calm excitotoxicity are through anticonvulsant medications and protocols to heal the gut. I got some threelac to try out. My digestion shut down for 2 weeks completely. The only way I got it back online was by taking massive amounts betaine hcl.
The weirdest part about all this is I have a shift of symptoms from extreme brain fog and no emotions to very clear headed and very depressed and anxious. 100% matches with nmda receptor overstimulation.