Sorry you're suffering so much.
You might want to look under hemorrhoid forums and see what has helped other people.
Once you've tried those suggestions and over-the-counter medications, then it might be time to see a gastroenterologist. There might be medications out there that require a prescription that will help. Surgery is the last resort.
Eating more fiber (fruits, vegetables), drink plenty of water, and walk about 30 minutes a day and that should help. Everyone is different as to what works for them.
Fruits and vegetables and walking do wonders for me. But fiber cereal and bars will tend to constipate. It could be I'm not drinking enough water with them.