You've had some superb suggestions. The main thing to focus on, RIGHT NOW, is you - your health, your healing, and your forward momentum. Take this assh*le to the cleaners, dear. Don't even entertain the folding of the tent - you are legally entitled to specific benefits, you deserve them, you've earned them, and I would strongly urge that you do not do what I did, and that was to leave with only 6 boxes and the clothes on my back. FIGHT for what you are legally entitled to, and no more.
As for communications with this man, let your attorney speak for you from this moment onwards. Anyone who would be so cruel is an abusive, controlling, and vicious person who intends to inflict suffering, damage, and injury. Damage and injury will surely result any time, and every time, you interact with this man. Let your attorney earn his/her salary.
YES...DOCUMENT everything, including your marital history. Use an objective, non-emotional approach and document everything that you can remember throughout your marriage to this man, including events and things that may not make you look like an angel. Brutal honesty is necessary for putting the past to rest, and this may take some weeks to complete. NO emotional monologues, just facts.
Same with the documentation of his behaviors. Keep a running log of his attempts to communicate and precise, accurate quotes, threats, actions, behaviors, etc. Dates, times, and precise updates will be invaluable to your attorney. Keep a couple of copies and distribute them between your attorney, your individual counselor/therapist, and another trusted individual and update them on a WEEKLY basis.
I mentioned counseling/therapy because it will a nasty, ugly ride to finalizing this divorce. The damage that you've experienced during your marriage, and the separation, have all taken their toll and you do not need to live feeling terrified, frightened, or threatened, ever again. A counselor/therapist will not only help you to find your healing path, but their documentation of what you've Survived will be priceless in divorce court. NO MEDIATION. Mediation is for people who behave reasonably, and this man is not going to do what's "right" or appropriate unless he has something personal to gain from doing it - it is out of character for him, and mediators are not psychologists.
BEST wishes to you and strong, healing energies to you!
Your right! That's great decision divorcing your husband. Divorce is really costly, specifically if you have to hire a lawyer to look after everything and get you what you deserve. It is well worth the payday loan to pay your lawyer and make sure anything is fair. It is never good when you end up with the bad end of the deal in the divorce.