Don't wuss out and go back to him. You deserve much better than a lying you know what. You have too much value. The thing is, the man that you were in love with obviously did not exist. But HarmonicCharge, he does exist. He is out there. In your future. Don't compromise yourself for this guy. One day you will truly find Mr. Perfect.
Hugs to you,
Oh HarmonicCharge, I am so sorry.
It doesn't matter how you lose someone you love, whether by death or otherwise. Loss is loss. Grief is grief.
The "heart" is the most precious and delicate part of our bodies. When it breaks it takes everything out of us and takes time to heal. Just don't let it scar. Let it heal completely. Though you can't see it right now, there is happiness out there for you.
You will be in my prayers.
Lots of hugs,