I have a lot to say, I probably wont remember most of it. I'm 21, 22 pretty soon, and I've pretty much been alone all my life, I have only ever been in one relationship, and that one was only online. At the moment I only have one friend, who is also only online, and I don't do much with very often. The reason for this is I have extreme social anxiety and selective mutism, which is supposed to mostly be a disease in children but not for me apparently :(. It makes it so I'm not able to talk in most social situations so it's pretty much impossible for me to meet people, if I do know someone pretty well though I'm pretty much able to act normal around them I'm just a little shy. Right now I am not doing anything with my life, I plan to go to college this year (online) and try to get a job that doesn't involve talking to people, because I am unable to talk for a job interview I have never had a job either. I try to stay optimistic about my life, but it seems I have nowhere to go anymore. My biggest goal for my life at the moment is to meet someone, I really don't want to be alone anymore. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how I can get out of this situation.
Going to school in person would be a start. You have to talk to people at some point.
Your isolation will just make it worse. You could also get a part time job while you go to school. You dont have to be a social butterfly. I keep my socialization to a minimum too. If you cant get over it alone you should speak to someone professional or pick up a self help book on coping mechanisms. Still having problems..Then maybe its time for St.johns wort or a scriipt med to help with the anxiety.
Everyone gets nervous meeting new people. But you have to get over it and you can because you said you can be yourself after you know someone awhile. Its not impossible. Just annoying/hard/uncomfortable.
I understand how real your problem is. I work in a state hospital and see severely mentally ill patients and even some staff. Almost anything taken to extreme can be a disorder.
There are different degrees of social anxiety. I know someone who's very popular and has many friends, but he couldn't go into a store and ask for something, and then there are people who can't leave their home.
I've seen way too many benzodiazepines like valium used for axniety because they're processed through the kidneys, but they're very addictive. There's a drug called BuSpar or Buspirone that's not addictive or sedating and it's very good at relieving social anxiety. I've seen it work miracles. Someone called it "My I don't care drug".
Another way to cure socail anxiety, or any other fears in life, is to look at the bigger picture by studying reincarnation and quantum physics. The book "Journey of Souls" by Michael Newton and the 3 DVDs "What the BLEEP? Down the Rabbit Hole" will change your world in a wonderful way.
It's too bad "Religious" people got upset when I mentioned these resources in here before.
You are far too young to decide that you ARE anything...particularly anything negative.
You may, quite legitimately, FEEL that you ARE...but you haven't seen anything yet!
Tell me that you are lonely at age 50, or 75, and I'll believe you...but at 22 you are just stuck in a rut.
The number one phobia in the world is speaking in public.
You are just thinking of single individuals as the 'public'. Probably because you are going at it the hard way.
You have your reasons for not sticking with your childhood friends and schoolmates and family...and I don't criticize that. Nor do I criticize going online, that's just a soother for your feelings of isolation.
So, give yourself a break...do EFT. Read Roger J. Callahan. (His books are available second-hand.) You can break this in five minutes!
Even do the tapping without all the 'statements'. It works!
(Saw a great film on this, on You-Tube.)
Go to an acupuncturist, or another type of alternative therapist. They know the connections between the body and feelings.
Get 1 kg (2.2 pounds) of the finest grind. Pour it in a tubful of lukewarm water, or melt it in a pailful of warm water before pouring it in the bathtub; jump in; getting your head and face wet, too. And keep yourself wet everywhere with a facecloth for 20 to 30 minutes. Then towel off.
Nothing spectacular will happen...but you'll soon realize that you are comfortable; home where you should be; your best self.
Whole mineral salts, from an ancient clean ocean, are a fine balancer, right through your skin. Your skin automatically knows what to do.
i know you posted this 7 months ago but, i hope you're doing better. I'm about to go to university and last time i did, I made zero friends - i guess I was just way too quiet, plus the only way I could talk to people was online
I think you just need someone dedicated to break you out of your shell, someone who is willing to take time and lots of patience and encouragement to stick by you :P i once did that with a friend of mine in my old class, I pretty much kept talking to him (even I found myself annoying) but in the end it worked, and he'd be able to talk back and to my friends