I see that you already posted at the Hernia forum. Good for you. Maybe you will find support for that kind of hernia.
I posted there when I was about to have surgery for an inguinal hernia. Two posters gave me detailed description of everything, from surgery to recovery. I'm such a worry wart. That helped immensely.
I was all bummed out. I only do alternative health care. I hated that I could do nothing about this. Everyone said that nothing could be done other than surgery. The doctor said that it had to be done. Otherwise the intestines could come through the muscle, be strangled, and fatal. So, don't wait. Get it done. You don't know how much I hate saying that. I had not been to a doctor for over 15 years. I had never taken any pharmaceutical ever. I'm normally very good with pain; but this was very bad. Your hernia may be very different since it is in a much different location. I do hope someone will respond to you.
Otherwise try not to stress so much. Find a good surgeon who has done this many times before. My operation only lasted 40 minutes. The anesthesia was the scariest part. I agree with you there. But, thank goodness, I remember nothing.