What makes a Great Relationship?
Date: 7/7/2007 3:24:33 PM ( 10 y ) ... viewed 2128 times
Notes from Relationship Talk
with Robert Camp and Joseph Malinak:
Here is the Talk:
[ Here is Joseph's Ideal
Lots of goodies here to explore:
Email Joseph: email@example.com
Email Sarah Elizabeth: firstname.lastname@example.org
What makes a great relationship?
Take a stand, that I am fully the cause of everything
that happens in my life. A way of looking
(even if it may not be true...)
A powerful element in relationship...
prevents you from being a victim of your partner...
relationship is the hardest area not to blame the other person.
intimate relationship brings out our deepest stuff,
our sense of fears,
we try to get these from our partner....
We tend when things go wrong...
it hurts so much, we have to blame someone...
we do not feel this if we are not in relationship...
These little hurts build up unless they are
felt...and worked through...
At first there is bliss, and then there is
stuff that comes up.
Emphasis in America on falling in love...
We become victims of falling in love.
True Love is not about falling in love,
it's about making a choice.
you can only make a choice when you are responsible.
To have a great relationship,
I have to go into it with an attitude I am going
to be responsible for what I feel and what comes up for me.
If I get mad, I am willing to go inside, and see what
is going on inside me,
I am responsible for my feelings....
This is rare-Robert...
When I felt inadequate, I went to Anger...
it is a lifetime path,
the first step, brings choices
that are unbelievable.
What is below this Anger...
This is that old inadequacy thing...
See, what I learned about myself in this situation....
What did you learn about yourself from this experience?
Exploring feelings, we have had breakthroughs....
Bad things, come from people not willing to
feel things...unwilling to take responsibility
Made me angry..."You made me Angry..."
It was in me, not in the other person
What is Self Love?
R: What is the concept of loving our self?
Self love is a practice of seeing myself clearly
and embracing who I am
rather than resisting aspects of my self
being willing to bring unconscious things conscious
For many years I had a rage problem
really intense anger problem.
it was like like there was no time and space
between what stimulated me and the response.
IT was an automatic response.
I started looking at how I felt when I was anger.
I went a little deeper.
I starting creating a space between the stimulus and response.
Situations would come up that would make me feel inadequate.
In practicing, taking a breathe
when I got angry,
and feeling how I was feeling below the anger,
then I stared feeling the inadequacy,
then after a while I could skip the anger,
and deal with the I could feel the inadequacy below.
This was the issue below.
Now what was making me feel angry.
I would get angry...
then I had an awareness about it.
I would investige it before
dumping it on my partner.
The way i say it,
I would feel my feelings.
We all have the ability to
Develop a discipline
and practice and have that ability.
R: By exploring feelings, we have had a lot of breakthrough.
Maybe all the hurts in the world,
all the bad things come from people
being unwilling to feel things that they do not want to feel,
and have them go into anger and blame.
and take responsibility for my feelings....
J: As I learn the basis of my anger,
I realized it was in me,
and not the other person.
Did it take a long time?
J: It is a lifetime path.
but even the first step gives freedom, brings choices
that are unbelieveaby.
The first thing I allow was to feel my feeling.
but it does not take long to see below,
what is belong this...
This doesn't have anything to do with my wife.
Then, I would go out and say,
Always it has something to do with myself.
Then, I would go out and say,
This is what I learned about myself.
sense of responsibility for our feelings
is an essential part,
to the fulfilling,
dynamic, ever growing relationship.
This creates a higher quality of relationship.
IF I am not victimized by my partner,
(victimized by partner:
Making them the cause of my feelings...)
then I can appreciate the magfincicent of my partner
and allow my partner to go further into her greatness.
This allows each other to fulfill our path of dharma
that fulfills us
to find their dreams...
if I am responsible for my feelings,
I feel them.
I move through them.
If I am victimixed by my partner,
I tend to stuff them.
This is going to cause them to be stored away
as water building up rehind a damn.
The second component....
When we say I will make this work....
Our Will carries us through the rough times.
Stayed in the relationship and made it work.
No matter what your karma is,
if you want to have a great relationship
you can have one.
Once we know our self,
we have an opportunity to have
a good relationship....
Once we know our self,
and know ourself,
we can embrace our partner.
We can move from self knowledge....
Always had a desire to have a good relationship--Joseph
You were on automatic....
push a button...after so many women...
would move away...as you started working
on underlying feelings and beliefs that
had you on automatic, then you had choices....
you decided not to respond as you responded.
--Joseph to Robert...
Need to bring Will and Self Knowledge in to
make a Relationship work.
We no longer take it personally...
Everyone can have a perfect relationship....
have to bring in will and self knowledge...
We are each dealt a certain karma at birth...
but the message, if you want a great one, you can have one....
If you want to have a great partner,
you have to be a good partner....
what does that mean Joseph?????
Made sense logically, but not an understanding of what it
really meant... did not make sense....
what it really meant...
If I want to be a good partner,
I have to give myself what I need...
I have to be willing to nurture and love myself
then I come into a relationship as a whole person,
See those things in a different way...
What is this concept of Loving Ourself:
What is Self Love?
it is a process,
a practice of...
I had a fear if my partner was doing her
dream, she would leave me.
partner, will no longer take of me....
so many layers to this...
gets deep when we get into ourselves...
so many themes being played out in the context of our relationships...
so many looking for a spiritual path...
relationship is the final frontier of spiritual growth.
the big tamale in the sky.
R: Less than 1% are practicing this.
We externalize this.
We blame them for feeling everythng we do not want to feel.
Free online cards and radio show:
Robert Lee Camp,
creator of “The Book of Destiny”
and “Love Cards:”
May 14-07 Show with Joseph Malinak:
What would be a great relationship?
Ideal Relationships; Coaching for Love
The Seven Love Cures:
Words that men need to know and women
want to hear
Esateys and Rafael
Relationships and Beyond
Relationships and Beyond, July 3, 2003 Internet
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