they say resisting temptation is the true test of character...
waking up to the reality of what it is i'm trying to do.
Date: 11/12/2006 5:06:44 PM ( 11 y ) ... viewed 1912 times
now, when i say 'resisting tempatation', it's not cause i'm on some cleansing fast or diet per se...i'm just trying to deal with life and the way things are going to be from now on.
today i had the worst craving for french fries. just plain fries with a little salt. at 9pm.
now that's just about the worst thing you can possibly do to your digestive system, eating starchy foods late in the day. the food sits like a rock in your stomach and prevents you from sleeping. it also slows down any cleansing that might occur during the night.
but i wanted those fries so badly! promising myself that I was going to behave tommorrow, even fast all day - and repeating that same old excuse made me stop right in my tracks. i even put my coat on, and got my purse. but at the last minute, before i walked out the door i stopped myself and really thought my actions through.
i've come to realise the real source of my weight gain and state of health. it has to do with this fasting/cleansing and the effect it's having on my metabolism. i fast for a few days, weeks even, then give up and binge. the food i binge on doesn't make out my system properly and the extra energy, as a result of a slowed metabolism, gets stored as fat. gets worst each time i repeat the cycle.
well it's close to 1am now, and I made it. Drank a little juice, and did some stretching. i also feel a lot better about having the willpower to resist those fries. additionally, I haven't had any beer for several days - another source of my weight gain.
but i've added a few things back to my diet: meat, eggs and rice. since doing so i no longer get these crazed mental states and agonizing hunger pains. this change has also enabled me to be able to carry on my daily activities without thinking about food, because my nutritional needs are being met.
part of the reason for this is some of the great material i've read on beyondveg.com. there's articles about food, and the history of our diet. in addition there's testimonials from die-hard 'cleansers' and vegetarians - people who actually did the 'detoxing' that all of you are trying to hard to accomplish. difference is, they succeeded and did so for many years. if you read what they have to say you'll be surprised. What it did for me is provide a valuable eye-opener to the havoc I'm wreaking on my body from all this madness.
so maybe as a result of these changes my hair will stop falling out, my nails will get strong again and my skin will stop being so dry. maybe all the mucous created by those binges will go away and i'll regain my shape. maybe the added protein will help me build muscle and boost my metabolism. maybe i'll get my energy back and feel like myself again.
that one-pound loss is holding steady, despite having added all those foods back to my diet within a week. in fact, as of this morning, it's a two-pound loss.
ok, it's only been two weeks for a grand total of two pounds lost. But since I'm eating normally I'll consider it a permanent loss, and I'll take that over a mind-wreaking 5-pound-fast-induced/6-pound-regain any day.
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