Date: 10/24/2005 11:00:56 AM ( 10 y ) ... viewed 1201 times
there's so much talk about the idea of "impulse control." usually it focuses on the idea that impulses should not be followed blindly.
i do think, however, that sometimes one comes to junctures in life in which certain impulses are crucial. lately i've been surprised to find myself sort of on auto-pilot away from the direction in which i was previously headed. i don't necessarily think i've been consciously choosing my reactions and actions. and i mean this in the best possible way, because quite frankly, i feel that i have been guided by something.
i don't see it as unempowering myself, because i have absolutely zero doubt that my actions were/are the right actions to take. but there's also no doubt that they are different than the decisions i had been making recently, so it isn't just a matter of inertia taking me in the same direction. there's definitely a sense that a change has been made, but it is a change that i don't feel i made consciously. outside things have also been happening surrounding these issues to cement their importance.
it's just something of a strange sensation. i feel like i've hit one of those crucial points in life in which my life really has an uninterrupted reciprocal flow to and from the profound (i know every moment counts, but i do feel that some are more powerful than others), and i need to be really receptive to this benevolent guidance, wherever it is coming from. so far, so good.
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